September 18, 2020
(Bravely updated 9/2022)
I’m not brave. I’m limited and even driven by fear. How do I find courage? Explore “being brave when I’m afraid” with me.
Being Brave When I’m Afraid.
Whaaat? Being brave when I’m afraid? Do I really need to?
Is it your biggest challenge? You want to do great things, but you don’t want to take too many chances. You want to take a stand, but not have a fight. You want to help, but not interfere.
This kind of brave?
We sometimes can recognize that “fight-or-flight” reaction we have tough situations.
I’m gonna be honest: My ‘flight’ is usually in capital letters. Go around it, skip over it, or run back — That’s my tendency. Not for everything. Just some things. I realize I’m backing up because of fear.
Bravery is a character trait I admire so much because it is one of my weak links.
We have mentioned being overwhelmed, being disappointed, and feeling the effect of failure.
When we are in the middle of them, those situations are big challenges. But those tend to be “event-centered.” You know what I mean? They are usually temporary come-and-go struggles related to circumstances.
B U T F E A R. . .
But fear, that keeps coming up. It’s there, floating beneath the surface, driving anxiety and retreat. Always keeping you from moving forward, limiting your ideas and actions, and controlling your direction.
Which means we have to talk about being brave.
First, exactly what is it? Do you even want to be brave? 
It depends, right?
Bravery: having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty.
Hmmm. That’s two different kinds of strength against three different kinds of situations.
Today: A Plan To Start Being Brave When I’m Afraid.
Yes, really. A plan.
We will explore the mental and moral preparation for life events, and will look at several dangers, fears, and difficulties.
And we will consider the need for bravery in our circumstances. So we will dig deep. Then deeper. 
(You want to read this, but maybe it’s too long. No worries. E-mail a link to yourself, or pin it to your Pinterest account to read later.)
Preparing For Life Events
What is that, exactly? It’s accepting the reality of your life, and finding the fortitude to face the challenges that will come.
Have you got a hidden list of situations in your memory that required fortitude? I do. Was I prepared? Nope.
Confession: I had neglected to take the time to get clear on my motives and intentions. And I needed to be clear so that my direction could be easily determined by that initial plan.
The key to being brave when I’m afraid starts way earlier than the challenge. It starts in my intentions. And yours. The place where you know yourself, and you set out to make valuable investments that improve situations you encounter.
Sound complicated? It’s really not. But to get your head into it, you need a few minutes when you ratchet back your distractions and look honestly at your heart.
You’re about to see a sequential thought process to show you how to better direct your actions based on an actual game plan.
Before you start, maybe it might help to stop just for a second and try to focus on one of your current challenges.
- Starting a business?
- Getting into shape?
- Potty-training a toddler?
- Tackling a big project?
- Got a relationship issue?
The point of envisioning a current challenge? It will give some real heart to the sequence, and help you decide whether your venture is worthy and doable, or whether it is only a dream that doesn’t fit with your mission.
How about a list? These are the stages:
Initiative:
- Understanding My Purpose
- Accepting My Mission
- Deciding to Proceed
Difficulty:
- Acknowledging My Fears
- Classifying My Challenges
- Laying Aside Unnecessary Interference
Action:
- Forging Ahead in the Journey
- Meeting the Challenges with Strength
- Reaching The Goal.
It’s a sequence, right?
9 different things, divided into three sections. We can unpack each one briefly.
Then I’ve got 4 great questions we can ask to frame any situation, from an article I’ll link to.
An article so good, it encouraged me to address this today.
Initiative
The first section involves a clear objective and taking initiative.
Intending
1. Understanding our purpose may be about our overall life purpose, or about the purpose of the task at hand. Either way, we need a clear idea of what we are doing (and why) to have value in ideas and requests.
Maybe this is why mission statements and goal setting are such hot topics. It’s expected that businesses will create a mission statement. But what about individuals? This is a huge subject. So big, I’m going to give you a link to a very concise explanation and suggestion for composing a mission statement.
This is an amazing way to see how to use your circumstances, gifts, and understanding to make an investment toward a good purpose.
A Personal Mission Statement?
Here’s the link: How To Create A Personal Mission Statement by Mark Maulding at Grace Life International. You can run there now, or come back to it later after you’ve finished reading here.
Have you ever had to do this? Come up with something in one sentence, for a job interview, or a project? I’ve had a couple of times when I collaborated on something with someone. My favorite? This one:
To generate a positive effect in every encounter.
It’s my favorite because I remember the discussions that got us there. I remember the person, and the job she was seeking, and the restrictions she was under to craft her answer.
It served the purpose perfectly at the time, and still supports much of what I do.
At other times I have had a different focus and a different statement. And they all work.
Incidentally, If the current challenge you named above is just facing a task, it still fits into a bigger picture of your overall investment, and thus needs to be tied to the intentions of your heart.
Accepting
2. Acceptance of the mission follows the purpose statement, since that purpose has now been defined. And it totally is the next step. But…
Here’s the thing: I have accepted various missions a number of times only to drop the ball and abandon the venture. (Could this serve as a blanket apology?)
So, mere acceptance doesn’t actually represent the actual start. It just means you have put on your running shoes. You haven’t actually gone anywhere yet.
Deciding
3. Deciding to proceed is a pivotal moment when you declare your intentions and take the first step. Make a concrete plan, drive to a destination, arrange a meeting, announce your project, resolution, deadline, etc.. Tell the world, “Yes. I’m doing it.”
And always, every time, as soon as we do this, you know what happens…
Fears, Obstacles, and Arguments.
Here come the lions, tigers, and bears. The next 3 steps are facing the challenges.
Recognizing
4. Instead of running away, let’s acknowledge the fears. The predictable deterrents are here! They arrive almost immediately after the announcement, threatening to embarrass us, to expose our inadequacies, or to predict our failure.
Has this been your “turnaround point” in the past? (You turnaround to grab your courage, and it’s cowering back in the bed. So you turnaround and go back.) This time, let’s don’t turn around!
How are these deterrents presented? From all directions. And usually out of the mouths of the naysayers around us.
Honestly, how would anything every have been invented if somebody didn’t have a brand new idea? So many of the great accomplishments in our lifetime and in history trace back to this: a courageous person who formed a vision, rallied the forces, and made the sacrifices that gave birth to something new and wonderful. In spite of those who murmured “It can’t be done.”
Hang on, though. It’s not that we close our ears to all questions and objections. We don’t.
We need them, and we accept them. Teamwork makes the dream work, right?
Analyzing
5. Letting our peers help us work through the challenges is a way of classifying the fears, or sorting through the obstacles,
Looking at the real mountains ahead, separating them from the imaginary ones. This process helps us list out the true challenges, so that we can begin to deal with them. Every venture has some kind of challenge. Maybe emotional, physical, financial, moral, etc.. Focusing on the true challenges allows us to get up and actually do something.
Laying aside
6. Imaginary mountains are there, but we can usually discard them as unnecessary interference.
What to file here? Various opinions and criticisms, lying awake worrying about whether we will be successful, things like this. Maybe self doubt is a habit that puts the brakes on your ideas. If we can rationally sort the obstacles, we can disregard the ones that are simply negative thoughts, and get them out of the way.
Get Up And Do Something
Now we are ready. The final 3 steps.
We can look back to the beginning, and fulfill our purpose with our actions. We defined our mission, addressed our challenges, and it’s time to act.
We have a timetable, a plan to face each challenge, and we have gathered resources. We are fueled by our vision, and we know that the mission is good and that we are suitable.
Starting
7. We forge ahead, checking off our list, and making headway toward the goal.
Staying
8. When it’s challenging, when the fatigue comes, when the storms blow through, we brave the winds and meet the challenges, keeping our eyes on the goal. We get up when we don’t feel like it, and we stay up when we don’t feel like it.
Finishing
9. And soon the dream begins to take shape. As it becomes a reality, those who were less brave begin to take notice. And we welcome the celebration as success dawns before us. We reach the goal. The benefits are now a reality, and our investment is deemed worthy.
It’s a great story, huh?
Just like that, you’ve realized your dream, right?
9 easy steps to bravery! Who knew?!
No. It isn’t that easy.
All those steps are a part of it, but we need to reach deeper into our hearts for the inspiration.
I researched bravery because I am not brave. I am often limited or even driven by fear, either real or imagined. I don’t like pressure and expectations, and I do fear failure.
Are you this way?
Or do you have the courage to be “the person,” the crusader, the decision maker?
That’s bravery! Being the front man, the one who takes responsibility.
Let’s do a short review, then dig a little deeper.
Two Quick Recaps:
Here’s the article that said it all so simply and so directly that I had to share it. Even the title is direct: “How To Be Brave When You’re Feeling Scared: The Secret to Performing Under Pressure.” This is an article written by Jeff Haden at Inc.
The four steps he describes are direct and necessary. Four simple questions to help you decide whether you’ll forge ahead, and how you’ll find the strength to do it.
I’d print them here, but they would completely lose the impact you’ll get from reading the article (which is not very long) yourself. It is so well done.
I was captivated with the four questions, enough that I printed the article to keep. It will be a part of my bravery initiative.
There is more about “purpose” as it relates to big decisions in another post here, The Cold Hard Truth About New Year’s Resolutions.
And, if you skipped any of that,
for the TLDR folks
(Even if you skipped all of it) it’s okay. Time is hard to come by. Maybe you’re the “recap” person. If so, this is for you.
Being “brave” is about having the moral and physical courage to face danger, fear, or difficulty.
THREE THINGS:
First, be clear on your own intentions, based on your personal goals.
Second, consider the challenges in the tasks you face, both real and imagined, and how you might overcome them.
Third, after laying out your plans, take action and complete the journey.
Back to the beginning…
It is impossible for me to consider any mission apart from the plumb line of Scripture, the truth that everything rests on.
So measuring every thought and action has to be a part of the discipline, a part of “being the Church” and a part of being ambassadors of a Holy God in a world that can be extremely dark and threatening.
The truth about bravery is that I have a lot to learn, a lot of skills needed to streamline my mindset. I am grateful for the tips I have learned. These truths can help shape my attitude, and bring reason into my heart to calm my fears.
But in reality, the true protection I have doesn’t come from my own knowledge or willingness to take a risk. The protection comes from the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. The protector I can call on at any time, in any circumstances. The protection is there always, but for some reason I neglect to acknowledge its presence.
So two things will govern my bravery and my success, whether or not I have a game plan:
- Every intention I have should be rooted in Scripture, grounded in the constant teaching and growth of the believer.
- The ability to succeed will come from God’s determination.
If I’m evaluating a challenge, the decision to proceed has to be determined by whether the mission and its designer are worthy.
So I can’t skip the knowledge of that foundation.
Knowledge + Prayer
We are constantly adding to our knowledge of God. Constantly realizing we have so much more to learn. And constantly striving to know Him more. How much time do we really spend here? For me the answer is “never enough.” It makes me sad.
And the other essential thing: Prayer. Not just knowledge, but submission and silence and listening and humility. Emptying those selfish ambitions to be able to hear the voice of our God, the instruction we are seeking in our circumstances.
Joshua was such a hero in the Bible. So brave, so equipped for leadership. Did you ever read the first chapter of the book of Joshua? It was God who strengthened him. I love Joshua 1:9 as a memory verse. So I have prepared a Scripture Memory Tool for it.
This memory passage is especially meaningful because the words “strong and courageous” appear not only there, but two previous times. That’s three times in all. Three times means it’s important.
If you want to know more about this “three” pattern, here’s an article from Crosswalk about The Number 3 in the Bible.
When you read verses 1-8 you see what’s happening. God is commissioning Joshua.
He commissioned you and me, too. He is worthy, and the mission he has for us is worthy. And that’s the real truth we’re spending our lives seeking.
The Scripture Memory Tool is a PDF file that’s a free download, something you can click on, download, and then save or print. It’s to help you memorize Scripture easily.
Fear.
Still, there’s one more thing. That nagging thing called fear. It’s still there, isn’t it? It is for me.
My plan is sensible and is actually helping me, but it hasn’t banished my fear. Even with the promises of God before my eyes, I find that I’m timid and uncertain.
I need to truly examine the cause of that uncertainty, the actual loss that threatens me, and determine if it is true danger or simply my normal “flight” tendency.
But what about real danger? What about the situations that come up that are not related to my own plans, or my own missions. What about the dangers I didn’t decide to face?
I’ve got something for you to read. Something that addresses real fear, real danger, and the real help we need.
Planning for a challenge is one thing. Facing sudden danger calls for more help than “having a plan.” Check out this article by Kristen Wetherell at Revive Our Hearts. It’s a completely beautiful description of knowing that we will not be without fear.
So I’ll always have questions, like: What should I be brave about? And will my obedience grow into bravery?
I know that God is faithful, even in my struggles, and that He is training me for His glory.
It should be enough. Thanks for hearing me out.
This has been a long series addressing struggles. It’s only four posts, but for me it has been a personal journey and confession.
Now that I have confessed these areas of struggle, I hope to be accountable for some personal growth. I will look deeper into the Bible, and deeper into the heart of God.
You want to do that with me?
What’s making you afraid? You don’t have to say it here on the blog. (Unless you want to.)
Just know this: without seeing the journey as a whole, we won’t recognize God’s work in our lives. So be sure to journal or leave a few mile markers!
And if this reminds you of a friend who struggles, pass it along.
I’m Grammye, and I’m collecting and sharing ideas that can help you embrace the life you have.
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Are you on Pinterest? That is a crazy fun place! You can find so many helpful things. Take a look at what I’ve saved for you! A lot of things that never make it to the blog. Here are my Pinterest pins, and I also have categories/boards if you’re looking for something specific.
-Grammye
This was very helpful! Did you write it just for me? Thanks
Janice,
You made me smile! Thank you for stopping by, and for being afraid with me. Whoops. I meant brave. 😂