October 2, 2020
Barely updated December 2022
Do you struggle with prayer? Do you struggle to stay focused, struggle to remember all the things you want to bring to the Lord? Is the time you devote to prayer inadequate? Please know this: You don’t have to struggle. Stay here a minute, and see why.
(This is #1 in a series about Prayer. Links to the rest are at the end.)
HOW TO PRAY
Has this been an issue for you? Maybe sometimes yes and sometimes no? Are you feeling like your prayer life is what you’d call “good”? Or maybe right now you feel a little guilty about the amount of time you spend in prayer.
I’m looking into the mirror, shaking my finger at the image staring back. “Look, we’ve been taught this all our lives. We know how to pray. There’s no shortage of resources. There is no excuse.”
This kind of struggle is something only intimate friends admit to each other. So I’m totally baring my soul today before the whole world. 🤫 Or at least to a few dozen trusted friends. Thank you for being here.
For most problems, there is a solution. So, we start by identifying the problem. We’ve done it. The problem has now been said out loud. And in writing.
Let me say something right up front: I’m not assuming everyone struggles with this. If you’re reading this, and you don’t struggle, please do something really kind: leave the rest of us a comment of encouragement after you finish reading. Because we’re here for solutions, to encourage each other, and to grow.
Strugglers, please read on, and see if we can get some traction on
- recognizing the exact reasons we struggle, and
- applying the solutions.
Is this just a case of connecting the dots?
The Things We Need, in order to Pray
It seems we need several things to be faithful in prayer:
Time. Life is busy. It’s hard to find a few minutes.
Silence. Life is noisy. Even when it’s quiet, it’s still noisy. If you know what I mean.
Focus. It’s hard to do just one single thing. We brag that we multitask, but that multitasking switch can get stuck in the “on” position. It’s not always a good thing.
It does seem we need these things, Time, Silence, and Focus.
But we’re so busy! So we tell ourselves it’s just not possible to get them. Hmmm. If we need them, and we can’t get them, then… we won’t be praying? 🤔 Let’s check that…
Perspective Check: In what other circumstance would this be an acceptable thought pattern?
- Taking care of our family? Nope.
- Completing assignments at work? Nope.
It’s not acceptable for something essential.
And there is the key.
A big issue is that we are subconsciously relegating prayer to a lower priority, less essential than other things. Now there’s a start.
We are subconsciously relegating prayer to a lower priority.
How Did This Happen?
Now don’t get nervous about me. It isn’t that I don’t think it’s important. It’s very important.
It’s that things got in the way. Maybe I got a late start, or had an appointment, or the phone rang, or somebody needed something in a hurry.
For some reason, it became acceptable to ask God to wait, but not anyone else. And that wasn’t a decision, or even an intentional thing. It was a gradual development I hardly noticed.
Yikes. a gradual development I hardly noticed?? Now that’s upsetting. How many other things have crept in under the radar this way?
So here’s the thing that’s still good: My talking time with God. It’s fine. I do talk to Him a lot.
Here’s the change: It’s my listening time I’ve reduced.
When I get ready for a conversation with the Lord, it’s squeezed between the other daily tasks. It starts with my list of needs for myself and others. I also have a long list of things I’m grateful for, and I say so.
And then instead of being quiet, I run off before God responds to me. It just got to be the habit somehow, rushing that quiet time until it almost was gone. Crazy how it happened. It used to be there, and now it’s not.
And I think there’s something else I need to express about prayer.
I THINK THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PRAYER.
See if you agree:
Is this really a thing? Two kinds? Like this…
One kind of prayer is the desperate kind.
- Lord, please spare me from this accident.
- Lord, please let me pass this test.
- Lord, please let this news be wrong.
- Lord, please restore _____.
That’s definitely one kind of prayer. The first kind.
Then there’s another. The second kind.
Maybe this other kind can be considered the constant prayer of the believer, as described over and over in Scripture.
This actually is so overarching that it is a state of mind, a position of always praying. Steadfast praising, constantly communing, the discipline of acknowledging the presence and knowledge and power of God in every moment, in every place.
Two kinds.
Friends, the first kind of prayer is no problem for me. Color me desperate.
It’s the second one that gives me challenge.
And it isn’t my belief system, it’s my prioritizing.
Here’s an example:
This is the Friday blog post, coming to you two days later than normal. The actual preparation was interrupted by a need for prayer. Not the sustaining daily-praising disciplined-worshipper prayer. No. The other kind. The desperate kind.
The on-your-knees, under-conviction, Bible-quoting, Daddy-please, prayer. The Even-If-You-Don’t prayer.
This one I can do. And we did, and we are, and we will. Because in this circumstance it has become an Even-Though-You-Didn’t prayer. I’m praying with a beautiful lady whose heart is made of gold. I know you have done this yourselves.
This kind of prayer we know, and it comes easily. It has to. You’ve been there, haven’t you? I know. We all have.
And I love you for that. We all know that God sustains us. While we’re on the subject, Thank you always for praying for me, and for your kind comments and e-mails that have encouraged me this year. One day I’m going to tell you just how humbling it is to receive those prayers.
But today, there’s a laser focus.
I want something:
A heart that can also step back from the desperate to see the bigger picture, a heart that can submit 100% in prayer for all things. I’m determined and committed to developing a better discipline.
And God, in his infinite wisdom, has sent me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it.
HELP FOR HOW TO PRAY
You deserve the answer for you from my own arsenal, but I’m the one with the problem.
It isn’t exactly the blind leading the blind, but it is more like the rushed leading the rushed. We’re getting nowhere fast. (That’s actually almost kind of funny.)
There’s good news. Seriously good. We all have something to be grateful for here: Someone has done it so well, it has to be shared.
I actually have two places I want to ask you to look today.
TWO RESOURCES:
One is a source I often use, Crosswalk. The article is called How To Pray: 5 Practical Tips. See if this applies to your struggle. It does to mine. It is so appropriate that I printed it. I think it is a very practical article. This Betsy de Cruz has looked right into my heart and given me specific actionable reasonable advice.
The second is the next step. It’s a disciplined season of daily prayer designed by the women at Revive Our Hearts, another source of solid help for us. This is the 31-Day Prayer Challenge called Cry Out. When you join (and it’s not too late), you begin receiving a daily e-mail that helps you focus on developing a daily prayer habit. Here’s an excerpt from one of my emails:
“Are you facing one or more chaotic, unsettled situations? Is your soul weary from striving, stress, and strain? There is peace, my friend—God’s peace—waiting for you just beyond the doors of deliberate gratitude. But the only way to find it is to go there and see for yourself. God’s peace is one of the many blessings that live on the other side of gratitude.”
Words for our weary souls, right? There are so many things I’ve received in just these few days on the prayer challenge that I want to share. It’s done so well, I want you to look for yourself. If you don’t want to sign up, you can just read the information on the website. So encouraging.
As for me, I want that daily letter. I want the prompts, and the Scripture, and the beautiful expressions. I want them delivered right to me and I want to be still and refresh my time with the Lord.
WHY DO WE WAIT SO LONG?
How can this help be so available, and we look away?
There may be an explanation.
See if this fits:
We are overstimulated with news, pictures, and obligations. We are obsessed with acquiring information, especially via Facebook and Instagram. We are stuffed with facts about other people’s lives, stuffed with achievements, and even stuffed with food. Life has become a treadmill of repeating actions and rituals. And if that isn’t enough, we are feeling the world on a tilt with a pandemic, political and social unrest. The bad news never stops.
You feel that? The “snowball” effect of negativity?
You’re never gonna have coffee with me again, are you? It’s just too depressing, right? Sorry.
All that is to say we’ve gotten here and we want to get back to the right place. And I’ve got a plan.
HERE IS MY PLAN:
I’m sharing these steps with you in case you’re struggling. If you are, join me and let’s get back to the main event.
- Sign up for the Cry Out Challenge. (Done.)
- Create my prayer nest. (More about this in a second.)
- Anticipate the joy of spending time with God. (Doing.)
That’s it. That’s my plan.
#1 and #3 are quick.
#2 takes some time. If you wonder about the prayer nest, let me explain. It helps if you saw the movie, “War Room.” When Priscilla Shirer began to build her war room, I was completely captivated. Here are a couple of short previews/trailers: Scenes from the movie, and Leaders discussing the movie. This movie, and the others created by the same people, are powerful and effective. So much wisdom packed into memorable moments.
My War Room
To make a long explanation short: I don’t have a room or a closet. But that’s okay. I’m going to create my own small enclave/nest from simple display boards. It will be portable and effective. When I get it all done, I’ll show you. It’s my tangible investment, something visible to remind me of my commitment.
Let’s plan to talk about this at least once more next week.
And as usual, I’m out of breath from typing so fast!
Sigh. That’s where I am, friends. Thanks for letting me pour out my confession and my promises.
If you wanted to say something to me about this, or to other readers, what would it be? Your own similar journey and victory? Your struggle?
This is the thing about blogging – You have to say a lot of stuff first, and wait a little bit for the person to respond. Does it remind you of having your teeth cleaned?
Always, always: Thanks for being here. For reading, for visiting, for encouraging.
If you want to spend more time here, please do! Pick another topic from the Blog Archive.
WHAT NOW?
Are you planning to start something?
Thanks for reading the introduction to the Prayer series.
I’ll show you my “nest” next week in this post: How To Jump Start Your Prayer Life. Also you’ll receive a very concise way to re-establish your daily prayer life. Literally minutes a day, Prayer Plan, Week 1.
The next in the series is called How To Add Prayer To Your Busy Day, with just a tiny bit more information to deepen that daily time. Still in tiny time spots, Prayer Plan, Week 2.
The third post gives you Six Prayer Methods to help structure your prayer time. You’ll see that structure is so important to establishing a prayer life: Prayer Plan, Week 3.
Then post 4 addresses How to Pray in Public without nervousness.
There’s another post, with a printable list of prayers focusing on our Nation and the Church: How To Pray For The Election.
Please let me know, either by comment or by e-mail, what you think of the struggle and the plan. I can’t wait to hear your story.
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-Grammye
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