August 20, 2021
You want to welcome guests at your Church. But sometimes they don’t return. Or if they do, they don’t stay. Why? I’ll tell you about 3 amazing welcome gifts you may have overlooked.
Welcoming guests: WHAT YOU WANT
You’re a “Greeter.” You take it seriously and you care deeply about your guests. You want them comfortable, relaxed, and happy.
You have prepared systems, methods, and people to warmly welcome visitors to your Church.
Team meetings have involved training, and everything is in place.
You have nice welcome gifts for new Church members, coffee mugs, drinking cups, pens, and more.
But you’re seeing a disconnect. Something isn’t working.
You have too many one-time visitors, too many people who attend a few times and move on.
How can you “step up” your ministry?
Small Churches rely heavily on ordinary members to step up. And many aren’t trained or experienced in what they are asked to do.
Today’s topic is specifically about welcoming new members, especially if your fellowship is small, or if your “greeting” ministry has struggled.
You can find lots of training about greeting Church visitors. And you should. After all, training is what makes us good at what we do.
But something comes after greeting: Welcome.
Why Welcoming New Church Members is So Important
Churches have an invisible hedge around them. That’s not a bad thing.
After all, there is a specific purpose for the Church, and members are charged to fulfill that. The hedge is a protection, a way to preserve the purpose, mission, and truth.
If you’re interested in that hedge concept, here’s a Crosswalk Article about the Hedge Of Protection.
We need to be sure that believers, even seekers, are gladly welcomed within those hedges.
What’s that like for them?
It’s pleasing, to be a newcomer, and to be greeted with a smile, and shown where the opening is in the hedge. Suddenly they’re inside, in the fold.
You’re not only welcoming them into the special place, but in all that you do you’re revealing the truth of God’s word.
Welcoming guests is a lot more noble and important than most of us realize.
Before we start, you may be asking “Who is this? What authority does she have? What is her purpose?”
On authority, the answer is “none.” We’ll get that out of the way first!
I’m Grammye, reflecting on a myriad of life lessons, and always looking for solutions and answers to lingering problems. The purpose is always to make things better.
It’s not that I invented the solution, I just invited you here because I was looking, too. Either now or in the past. I wanted us to search together, and compare what we’ve found.
We tend to look at hospitality in relation to our homes, but sometimes we leave Church hospitality to others. Today’s topic covers this, specifically to help us be more welcoming as a Church.
Something else about the 3 amazing welcome gifts. For new Church members, there are some absolute needs they have which we may be overlooking.
And just so you know ahead of time: It’s not about changing our teaching, or trying to look more like the world we serve.
It’s about focusing on our mission and our guests, and finding practical ways to display love to our visitors and members.
GrandDaddy and I love Church. We are members of a Church that’s a lot bigger than our former one. With a large membership and a corresponding budget, programs are carefully planned and executed. The foundation is gospel centered. Leaders are chosen carefully and never in haste. Every ministry is beautifully supported. We have enjoyed being able to fully relax and worship, knowing there are capable people all around us.
Prior to this, we spent years in a smaller Church where members were relied on to serve in capacities that sometimes stretched their abilities. We navigated a lot of territory together, and grew in love and ministry. In so many ways, we were nudged into knowledge that has served us and others. I’m grateful for those years.
Small Churches. I never want to forget what is special about small Churches. I’ve even got a small Church story for you today.
Anyway, this article is here to encourage you if you’re feeling “stretched.” Because I know stretched well. 😉
Now, where were we? Oh yes, welcoming guests. The 3 amazing welcome gifts for new Church members.
Get that cup of coffee.
Let’s look at
- 3 areas you must address, and
- 3 specific ways to meet those needs, through
- 3 amazing gifts.
And, by the way:
Welcome to the Church of the Living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.
I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these things to you so that, if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.
1 Timothy 3:14-15
3 Areas To Address
FIRST, How Does The Guest Experience Feel?
Here are three questions to evaluate your guest experience.
1. Can people easily find their way aroundyour facility?
Multiple greeters and effective signage are important. Even finding the right entrance can be difficult without signage.
The restrooms and nursery should be easily found and should feel safe.
A well-lit fresh and clean appearance is important. Bright lighting and squeaky-clean surroundings will reassure your guests that you care for your facility.
Conversely, areas of use that appear dark or dingy or even semi-abandoned raise questions.
Who gives the tour of the facility to a visitor, and how detailed is it?
Do your guests feel safe and comfortable?
2. Are your methods too aggressive?
Sometimes being asked to wear name tags is objectionable, or maybe annoying.
Even disclosing names can even feel risky for shy people. It’s hard to remember that some people just need to wade in one toe at the time.
Here’s another: Making people shake hands in the service can be great fun or incredibly uncomfortable. Especially during a pandemic, right?
The point? You really don’t know who is shy, what brought them to you today, or what they resolved in the car just before coming into the building.
All these are just human tendencies we need to be sensitive about, things we might not have realized could feel threatening or uncomfortable to people.
And while we are looking at this: Men greet and befriend men. Women greet and befriend women. This just works. And going too far into the opposite direction doesn’t.
Do your guests feel respected?
3. Do you have short-term and long-term follow up that works?
What’s the plan for your next step when you have contact information?
And how do people assimilate into your fellowship?
Beyond the greeters and the “reach-out” people to follow up, you need a game plan for creating avenues for friendships.
Do your guests feel included, interested, and inclined to return?
More about this “follow up” in a minute — it’s the heart of today’s topic.
We will talk about the 3 amazing welcome gifts.
If you’re picturing a token in an envelope or package, you’re headed in the wrong direction. Sorry, but today’s welcome gifts don’t come with a bow.
So that’s the first thing, how your guests actually feel when they visit.
Let’s look at the second area.
3 Areas to address
SECOND, Did You Provide Your Position Papers?
Do you provide your doctrinal statements, and are your beliefs clearly presented in multiple ways?
Visitors may arrive with a definite position that needs to be a match, or they may come with an open mind and a lot of latitude in what they expect.
And you need a way to find out how to present that information.
If it’s obscure, you may be attracting people who eventually discover a poor fit. Spiritual clickbait? Maybe. A waste of time? For sure.
There’s a reason you’re at your own Church, and not the one down the street. Give your visitors all the information they need to commit to a fellowship of people who are “doing Church” their way.
The second important thing is being transparent and up front about beliefs.
One more area to address.
3 Areas to Address
THIRD, What’s Your Game Plan If They Stay?
This is huge. Who shows them the ropes, reveals the secret handshakes, and most importantly, gets them “people.”
It’s the hardest thing, being a new member. You don’t have people. Oh there are people. They’re just not yours. And no one seems to be sharing.
Fellowship time over doughnuts and coffee is extremely difficult for people who have no friends in the room.
It’s important to convey to your current members the reality that everyone is a member of your welcome team.
Yes, every person in your church is on your welcome team every week.
Sure, not everyone stands behind the welcome table or opens a door each week with a name tag on, but you can continually emphasize the need to be welcoming, and encourage all of your people to smile, extend a warm handshake, make good eye contact, learn an interesting fact and give a caring greeting to those they don’t recognize, while maybe inviting them to their small group.
Your very first task in the “if they stay” time frame is about relationships, friends, people.
The third area is your long-term game plan.
Honing In On “If They Stay”
A quick review of the questions:
FIRST, How Does The Guest Experience Feel?
SECOND, Did You Provide Your Position Papers?
THIRD, What’s Your Game Plan If They Stay?
You’ve warmly welcomed your guests, seen that they are comfortable, made your intentions known, and given them adequate assistance to navigate.
Now what?
As a greeter, are you finished?
It’s a good question to ask yourself — is there a handoff?
If they return, what will happen? What’s the picture of this, and who manages it?
Maybe logically, you can feel you’ve completed your task. After all, you’re a greeter. Nothing more.
They returned, so you assume you “closed the sale.” You move on to the next lead, right?
How easy it is to slip into this line of thinking. What’s wrong with it?
- Seeing it as a sale.
- Assuming you hand them off to others.
- Expecting someone else will step in to nurture the new member.
This mistaken notion leads us to the first amazing gift. The first of 3 ways to meet the needs of new members.
AMAZING WELCOME GIFT #1
You. You’re amazing gift number one.
Stay connected.
You know these people. Because you greeted them, welcomed them into the house, heard their questions, and helped them feel at home.
Find them again when they return. Greet them by name. Introduce them to a few people, including the Pastor or leaders. And the other surprise? Rinse and repeat. Yep, do this several times on Sunday mornings, expanding their connection and their comfort.
Your ongoing presence, kindness, and care — that’s the first amazing gift.
Please remember that as we add gifts 2 and 3.
AMAZING WELCOME GIFT #2
Present a solid Men’s Ministry.
Way easier said than done. You’re not ready to welcome men if your own men are lost.
The big question: Have you got “found” men who can fellowship with a new member?
By nature, when meeting people, men take their time. There’s a deep instinct that keeps men from plunging into familiarity on the first meet. After all, for a time your people are strangers to him.
Further, it’s interesting what culture has done to train us in meeting people. We’ve learned to introduce ourselves to people only in special contexts: for example, in a business meeting, sure. But not on a bus ride. At a wedding reception it’s expected. But not in an elevator.
Starting purposeful conversations from scratch is a challenge for many people. It isn’t innate; it must be taught.
That’s how it is, isn’t it?
When you see “the new guy” again next week, what can you do?
It’s not even hard.
First, you can offer to pray for the man who visits your Church. Jesus prayed with and for His guys, He modeled prayer, and gave them a glimpse of His intimate relationship with the Father by going off to pray alone. Guys who are in community with each other learn how to pray for each other . . . and they will.
Second, you can introduce him to other men. Men can easily network about business, sports, even weather. Pull the new guy into the group without putting him on the spot.
Third, you can simply chat. Highlight what this particular fellowship has offered you, and share a bit of your testimony or your faith journey.
The second amazing gift is a thriving ministry for men.
But of course it doesn’t end there.
Ladies, the next gift is a refreshing bowl of hospitality.
AMAZING WELCOME GIFT #3
The Church Ladies’ Welcome Lunch
Ladies, this gift will do more to further new relationships than any general invitation. And I only know about it because someone gave it to me!
I’ll tell you what it is, how to set it up, and some great activities to keep the conversations going.
This is a welcome luncheon to introduce new ladies to one another in a comfortable setting. Attendees include seasoned members and guests.
For the hostess/planner, hospitality is important. If that’s your thing, this is for you!
I’ll give you the general idea, which can be adjusted for your setting. The important thing is to schedule this lunch within the first 2-3 months of the guest’s attendance.
The Welcome Lunch:
About once a quarter, plan a small lunch gathering in someone’s home. Do this more often if you have lots of new members.
Invite about 6-12 women to your lunch. You need 2-4 “hostess” ladies (current members) and the rest are guests.
The purpose is to
- Introduce guests to each other and to members,
- Catch the new folks up on some church history,
- Describe customs,
- Make connections.
The menu is simple, the agenda is relaxed and flowing. Introductions are very casual. Conversations naturally flow into various territories — family, past Church stories, current events, and even dreams and plans.
Hostess, here’s your game plan:
When you’re planning the menu, table settings, etc., do something that’s nice but not too fancy. Something you can easily duplicate in a few months.
Set up two tables, with a hostess or two at each; the remainder are guests.
Serve lunch and watch the conversations explode. (Women. 😉)
Then, a twist: Ask half of the hostesses and half of the guests to switch places for dessert. Yes, it means carrying the napkin and the tea glass to the other room, but it will be fine. A new mix of people and talks. Once everyone is settled, serve dessert. And again, conversations will take off. Serve coffee as they continue. And make sure there’s an extra chair so you can periodically sit and join the conversations.
When the women accept the invitation, they are somewhat timid and unsure. They will even say they don’t know anyone. They will say this when they arrive. Your purpose? To solve that problem.
By the end of this lunch, they will know the names of the other ladies, they will know a little more about the fellowship, and the shared history that’s always so mysterious.
Most importantly, they will have “people.”
And getting people, well, that’s the hard part for new members.
How about more details about this luncheon?
Activities to include:
Talk about children. We can all do this — our own stories as children, our own children as stories.
As far as icebreakers, focus on the fellowship instead of any invasive questions/confessions from your guests.
THE GAME: Create a trivia game that shares old stories: something historical, what happened when the playground was built, what strange things are in the closets at the Church. Talk about the time the bird flew into the sanctuary during a wedding. Talk about the coffee and fellowship treats, the last baby born, and how things are done. Talk about what the Church has experienced recently.
It’s a great way to share funny stories, historical facts, turning points, or explanations.
How to create the game? It’s simple. Decide what you’d like to discuss. Write down the questions on cards, and put one at each person’s place. (“Why is there a carved bear in the fellowship hall?” “Tell me about the wedding with the birds flying around?” or “Why did we stop serving powdered donuts?”) The question is read aloud, and one of the hosts answers the question. (If they don’t know, they have to go and find out from the other table.) The beauty of this? The guests are asking the questions, and the members are sharing stories. And we all know stories connect people.
What stories can you tell that will make new ladies feel like they are “in the family”? Stories that make you laugh, stories that explain things, stories that shaped the fellowship. Those are the “game questions.”
And be sure to talk about Bible classes, small groups, children-and-youth activities, outreach opportunities. It’s amazing how women will perk up and share their passions among other women.
Toward the end, if it’s comfortable/possible, exchange contact information — e-mails, phone numbers, etc. If everyone wants to, offer to make a list or a group e-mail to share with them all.
Your hope is that now people will introduce families to each other, and that together you’ve created pathways for friendships to form.
You have the goals above, but something else happens: The ladies now have shared stories. They have people they can trust.
AND LOOKING AHEAD, think about the next luncheon, who the hosts will be, and what went well.
Amazing gift number three is the ladies’ luncheon.
3 Amazing Welcome Gifts For New Church Members:
- You: Continuing relationship
- Men: Strong, welcoming ministry
- Women: Facilitate pathways for friendship and connections.
This certainly isn’t the complete list of what should be done to welcome new members. It is simply a highlight of 3 gifts new members need and want, and how to deliver them.
If you’re serious about stepping up your greeting game, I’ve got a ton of resources in a minute that will give you much more.
And a story that showed me what “welcome” looks like so clearly.
Remember: Welcome Gifts are more than Greeting Gifts
Welcome is more about your heart than about any system.
Newcomers can tell very quickly if you are sincere or superficial.
- Welcome others as you’d like to be welcomed.
- Welcome others as God has welcomed you: intentionally, purposefully, without judgment, and with unconditional love.
Welcoming newcomers is a way to worship God. Let’s bring God glory as we make welcoming newcomers lovingly a priority.
Have you built a warm, loving, and welcoming culture?
If people know they are loved, they will be more likely to stay.
And where’s the springboard for this culture? It has to flow from the mission.
Is it your choice and your conviction to love every single person that you encounter with the love of God for the glory of God?
Doing “Welcome” well.
Would you like a story?
Yes? Oh, good. 🤗
Here is the story of Mrs. Ollie.
She was a beautiful older retired widow who joined our fellowship. The word lovely simply isn’t enough to describe her. She was gifted with a friendly spirit and humble hospitality.
Not long after she became acquainted with the ladies at our small Church, she hosted a luncheon at her house. For her “young friends.”
What a day that was, the chatter, the getting acquainted with her, the delicious food.
You know why this is a good story? Because Mrs. Ollie gave us exactly what we should have given her: A welcome.
Through beautiful portraits in her home she introduced her family — her handsome late husband, her beautiful daughters, grandchildren, and greats.
From the beginning, she reached out to us with amazing openness and drew us together. She demonstrated the beauty of welcome, and she served us.
Despite her increasing frailty, her many heartbreaks, and her loneliness, she loved us with such an outpouring of tender kindness. Not just that day, but always.
She talked about good marriage, about the nurture of children and grandchildren, and about Christ.
God sent us Mrs. Ollie to love us, and to show us how to love.
Loving Others
Demonstrating love is way better than discussing it. I am so grateful to people who demonstrate love. Sometimes it feels like I will never be able to pay it back, or pay it forward.
You know why? I can’t. Not on my own.
It’s hard to remember that God fills us with an ability far beyond human achievement. I’m right when I say I can’t do it. But you’ll never hear me say God can’t. God is always willing to work through us.
What’s your story? About a time when someone demonstrated love to you, especially in the Church?
God, stop my excuses, and give me courage to demonstrate love. Fill me with your Word, with your love, and with your power.
Oh, friends. I am so glad you are here.
Research for this topic had multiple avenues — personal experience, asking lots of questions, plus some very helpful topics by those who have studied what works and what doesn’t.
There are so many things to consider, that I just had to start.
We didn’t even get to children and youth ministries, or programs today. And maybe that’s okay. Because you have to start somewhere.
Why We’re “Doing Church”
“Doing church” has gotten to be a phrase hasn’t it? I wonder if “doing stethoscopes” will one day be how we describe practicing medicine?
Just saying, “doing church” is a strange way to talk about being the body of Christ in the world.
You know what helps you focus? Looking to Scripture and the reason we are even “doing Church.” 😉
Remember the mention of being “stretched” earlier?
Sometimes it is really helpful to listen to someone who has struggled with the exact same thing. They remember the difficulties, and can help you scramble over the boulders to get to the good place in your ministry.
The resources I promised:
There’s a great article by this guy named Tony Foglio, From the Pulpit: Churches, like people, have personalities.
What are some of the obstacles to being open? The term “sacred cows” sounds so… negative. But if you read this article, 4 Sacred Cows Haunting Churches by Brian Boyles , you’ll immediately know we all do it — preserve things that maybe didn’t really need preserving. That’s gotta be a topic for another day. But it’s mentioned to caution you: Those sacred cows can disrupt a new member’s experience with little warning.
Great Commission Collective had a great article on Welcoming Newcomers by Dan Hammer of Harvest Bible Chapel, so great that his ideas are incorporated here.
There’s a name for the missing welcome: The Hospitality Gap. Cyndee Ownbey has written about her personal experience as a guest.
One more resource: An extremely informative and useful booklet that should be a main take-away today: How To Talk About Your Faith. If you struggle in any way to discuss your faith with others, this is for you. This little gem has so much information that is useful to us not just as greeters, but in our daily lives. When you click on the “download PDF” button, the booklet is yours! You can save, print, share. (😉It’s an amazing gift.)
An Amazing Welcome Gift For Guests
Did this give you anything new to reflect on, as you review your history?
You know what? People have really strong stories about the good and the bad.
Stories about church visits.
And those stories leave an impression.
- The visits that were done in complete and total solitude. The awkward silence that served as a greeting.
- Or, conversely, the kindness of a stranger, the warm introduction, or the invitation to sit with a new friend.
You’re creating your story right now. And I’m creating mine.
So here’s my question: In the chapters of life that have already been written, What convictions come to me as I reflect? In other words, How can I make the future chapters better?
What is it that you will do, to show the love of Christ to those around you?
Could your kindness and hospitality become an amazing welcome gift?
This topic is a part of the Church series.
Stay tuned for these upcoming posts:
In addition to today’s look at Church from the inside, there will be a topic about finding a Church: How Can I Find A Church I Can Believe In? that is written from the outside.
Additionally, there are some Church Lady Secrets that will share more of the things women do to make their fellowship warm and hospitable.
Thank you for visiting! At GFP company is always welcome!
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-Grammye
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It’s such a valuable tool, solving the age-old problem believers often have — how to talk about faith without being obnoxious.
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This was so good! Thank you for the reminders, new ideas, and motivation to reach others who come into the church by using hospitality.
So glad you were here! It’s heartbreaking to think someone could visit a Church and spend the entire time totally alone. But it happens. Building relationships is so valuable, and yet so difficult.
Thanks for new ways to be generous with welcoming visitors into the :family.
Here’s what I’m afraid of: It’s so easy to rely on processes and forget about people. Thank you for visiting. I appreciate your contribution to the conversation.
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