October 24, 2022
You need help. You are on the Church Search, and having no progress. Maybe you haven’t been in a long time, and you’re ready to get back. Maybe you’ve left a Church recently, and you need to find a new one.
How can I find a Church I can believe in? The search is exhausting, and I keep having to change the criteria.
Help me, please! I don’t want to give up.
How Can I Find A Church I Can Believe In?
Looking for a Church your family can attend.
Why is it so hard?
Sometimes it starts to feel like you’re on the crazy train. You’re unhappy with every single visit, because of something.
So you make a list. The essential things. Then you try again. Still, it’s hard. You ask friends, you accept invitations, but it’s not working.
You adjust your “essential things” list. Then you adjust it again.
We don’t have time or space here to list all the things that could be wrong. I’m saying all this in a nice voice. A concerned voice. An understanding voice.
Every congregation has its “flavor” or its way of doing things. They try to get it right with the music, the message, the greeting, the information.
So you work through that, and dig in a little deeper. They are still trying to get it right. Grouping people together, taking care of children and youth, and all the age groups. Men’s ministries, Women’s ministries. But sometimes it just doesn’t come together.
Maybe it’s something specific you need, and it isn’t there. Maybe it’s even unfriendly. Maybe the programs are not suitable for your family.
That searching place is painful and discouraging. You even start to wonder what God wants you to do. I know.
You are not alone. Many begin to question why God would allow this part of worship (finding a Church) to be so hard.
I don’t have all the answers for you. I’m sorry.
However, I do have something. It is something I’ve been able to use and share. Just a little checklist of sorts.
And of course, it came from an awful place, a painful time period when life was hurtling toward something.
If you want to know, I’ll tell you the story. In a minute.
Why?
Because every time I look at the checklist, I return to the story.
Timothy 6:20-21
Timothy, God has trusted you with many things. Keep these things safe. Stay away from people who talk about useless things that are not from God and who argue against you with a “knowledge” that is not knowledge at all. Some people who claim to have that “knowledge” have gone completely away from what we believe.
Finding A Church I Can Believe In…
“Is This The One For Me?”
That’s the question you always have, right?
And why wouldn’t you?
After all, you can’t go to a Church you don’t believe in.
But turn around for just a second…
There’s one issue with that question.
It’s like choosing the man because of the shirt he’s wearing.
The point?
There’s a better question:
Is This The Church For God?
Yeah. Because you want more than the shirt. You want Christ. Bringing your worship to this new place of worship.
Still,
I’m not saying to disregard suitability.
It matters if it’s suitable for your family. Absolutely.
But if you start with the foundational truths, you’ll waste a lot less time. (Because those truths set the choices for what shirt gets worn.😉)
You’re tracking, right? That the idea is more about bringing your worship than looking for benefits.
Because all the fancy buildings and soccer teams and coffee and doughnuts in the world won’t overcome wrong worship.
It makes sense to try to attend Church in your community. But how big is your community? You have to find a Church you can believe in, and it also needs to be one within driving distance, right?
Rather than limiting your search to the churches within a mile of your home, figure out where you can worship in truth. And figure out if it is realistic to go there.
How Do You Know Where You Can Worship In Truth?
Does the evaluation process described here frighten you a bit?
Maybe you think you don’t know enough to make a decision?
👉🏼 That’s what today is about. A way to hold things up to the light, and see the truth.
I want to tell my story. It’s sad.
Everyone involved had to look in the mirror and question every decision, every word, every action. We questioned ourselves, and questioned each other.
It’s told with quietness, sadness, tenderness, and grace. Because every single person was earnestly trying to do something that was right, and we weren’t seeing it the same.
THE STORY
Some years ago, I was a part of a very close-knit small-town Church headed for a split.
If you’ve ever been there, you know how it is.
Passions ran high, convictions were being carved, and lines were being drawn.
Conversations were difficult, and opinions were very polarized. And the sadness for all concerned grew deeper as the date of decision approached.
We had worshiped together for many years, and the idea of the family having to divide was extremely difficult. Because we really were a family in so many ways.
We were all struggling to do what seemed the most right at the time, in completely uncharted waters.
At the time, I was meeting regularly with a group of students, young teens, most of whom had worshiped together their entire lives. They were very much aware of the changes, but had no control over the circumstances.
To say we were “close” is an understatement. I had watched them grow up in the fellowship, just like my own children.
And yet, we knew all the families didn’t agree on the issues. It wasn’t bitter; it was sad.
The decision would be made in just a few days, and it was a “hard” yes or no.
How would we spend our last session? How could this day (what was possibly our last class together) be a memory we could treasure?
How could we focus on what bound us together? Not with sadness, but with hope for the road ahead.
We needed to avoid any conflict, and we needed to solidify our unity in Christ, no matter what the future held.
I had an idea.
I asked my sound and trusted pastor to help me frame a list. I wanted it to be a list of true things that both sides would be able to embrace. A list of doctrinal truths that neither side would have compromised.
Some kind of “truth collection” we could all agree on no matter where we ended up.
The areas of conflict would be completely avoided.
This man did a beautiful job of helping me compile the list. I was able to make it age appropriate with some very amateur graphic design effort.
On Sunday morning I brought supplies to class, and began by having each of the students decorate a large envelope for safekeeping. Then we passed around small cards that everyone signed, so that at the end each student had a small card signed by all the other students.
Then the printed lists we had compiled were distributed, one for each student, and a pocket was already attached that would hold the small card of names. The finished product was placed in the decorated envelope for the student to keep.
And of course we gave one to the Pastor who had helped produce the list.
The students were happy with their artwork and the keepsake. The Pastor was happy with the decorated signed gift.
And I didn’t make anybody cry that day.
How did the story end?
As you know, some stories don’t exactly end. We did split, and it was sad. Relationships, though, surprisingly pulled through. It wasn’t as bitter or dark as it could have been, but there was grieving. Eventually the scars faded, people settled into something new, and ultimately there was growth.
Maybe that’s the important thing: That God restored fellowship in a new way, and brought truth to a lot of hearts.
But not without scars.
If you were going through something like that, do you wonder what you would do?
It’s difficult. And yet, the Bible tells us clearly that the truth will divide us in painful ways.
Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Standing for truth will hurt you.
Either it will hurt your feelings, or hurt your career, or hurt your finances.
But without it, what do we have?
I’ll always be grateful for that Pastor for doing his absolute best to try and nurture us through that season. His scars are deep and permanent, but he never compromised truth.
In fact, I’ll always be grateful for all the “sound and trusted” Pastors who nurtured me through seasons.
Those teachers and ministers who have stepped into roles of discipling me are people I treasure. These are people who fed me more knowledge than I would have asked for. They also got the train back on the track if I had questions.
And about that list…
It was such a solid collection of information.
How could I have known how important that information would be to me?
Now, on reflection, I know that a concise statement to describe my belief system would have been helpful at many different stages of growth.
It’s simply a list of true things. This list sticks to some very basic facts and avoids a few of the common doctrinal or theological conflicts.
Speaking of conflicts…
Does CONFLICT End?
We tend to enter maturity with the idea that conflicts are less common among adults. Less common among believers.
And that’s completely wrong.
Church conflict can be so volatile. So much finger-pointing, line-drawing, foot-planting conflict.
There is disagreement on what is true, what may be true, and what can’t be true. There is even disagreement over what truths are worth fighting for.
Clearly we are seeking what’s correct, but we shouldn’t have to fight for the right to know, should we?
This is the reason the list is centered on very basic truths.
In worship and study we all reach the points in which we have to adopt a faith statement about a particular view — Reformed or Arminian, one of the millennial viewpoints, or something else. Further, there are more specific policies addressing what to wear, musical style, or which version of the Bible to use.
These viewpoints are usually places of deep passion. And thus conflict.
I don’t diminish the importance of those. Doctrines and practices are very important, very necessary as we learn more.
But this list wasn’t created to speak to just one group of people. It was an attempt to gather the most basic truths without refuting the finer points.
If you hold it up against any more developed system, you’ll see that one item or another becomes more important, more detailed, or more narrow. And that’s okay.
It served a particular purpose on the Sunday when it was first revealed. But it remained important for deeper reasons.
The purpose of sharing the list with you is this: to have a useful tool in evaluating whether an organization or message is consistent with what the Bible teaches.
I am not a scholar, not a theologian, not an authority. I’m just a worshiper looking for truth.
Twelve Things Every Believer Needs To Know
1. The Bible: The Bible is the inerrant and infallible Word of God.
2. The Trinity: There is only one God who exists in three persons —
God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
3. The Divinity of Jesus: Jesus Christ is the Son of God and fully divine.
4. The Incarnation and Virgin Birth: Jesus Christ is fully man and was born of the Virgin Mary.
5. The Atonement: We are saved by grace through faith in Christ.
6. Salvation: Jesus is the only way of salvation.
7. The Resurrection: Jesus was bodily raised from the dead.
8. The Ascension: Jesus is in heaven, our King, reigning over all things.
9. Regeneration: The Holy Spirit alone can change our hearts and give us faith to trust in Jesus.
10. The Afterlife: Heaven and Hell are real places of infinite joy and infinite suffering.
11. The Second Coming: Jesus is coming again to judge the world and consummate his kingdom.
12. The Church: The Church is the body of Christ, his physical presence in the world today.
If you’ve already got your own list, that’s great.
If not…
Here’s what you do.
Go to a trusted believer who is further along than you are. Sit down with this list (or your own) and discuss it.
Then start reading faith statements. Comparing. Learning. Seeing where they fall away.
Soon you’ll begin to develop a better perception for when there’s a little difference in the statements.
Because little differences, well…
They usually become bigger.
Choosing a solid foundation is always important.
Few things are guaranteed, as you know.
Here’s one that is certain:
If you step onto a train that is slightly off the rails, your trip will soon worsen.
A good reason to check the foundation before you board.
Back to Our List About True Things
On reading the list, you may feel that we are stating the obvious. And maybe we are.
But here’s the time you use it:
When you find a Church, search their website for their About page, or their Faith Statement, or their Doctrine, or their What We Believe page.
Carefully review the wording. If it’s different from what you have as your guideline, figure out if it’s the same fact stated differently, or if it’s a different fact.
This won’t be your only criteria, but it could actually be the pre-screening before you visit.
Unfortunately, finding a match still won’t guarantee a promise of the perfect Church.
Because there’s no such thing.
You know what? I’m always lurking around the Google and Quora communities, seeing the questions being asked. The difficulties in finding a place to worship are many.
There’s a natural desire to fit in and to connect. When those things don’t happen it’s discouraging.
Let’s don’t let discouragement be our defeat.
A Checkup, To Help You Find The Church You Can Believe In
This is where the happy ending belongs. The reassurance that everything will be alright.
And ultimately it will. But sometimes we have ongoing struggles that we can’t seem to resolve.
Church shouldn’t be one of those struggles, should it?
I hope the list is helpful. I hope thinking things through is helpful.
But I’ll tell you what really helps me: Having someone shepherding me. My husband does that, and so do the leaders in the Church.
Having trusted teachers to help me is absolutely essential.
- Do you have a person who helps you?
- Do you have reliable resources?
- Do you have places you go to settle important issues?
- Do you participate in regular Bible study?
- Do you pursue wisdom through God’s Word?
All those questions are not meant to be accusing, but encouraging.
Of course there are more.
Worship and studying in a believing community will help us to stay in truth.
Otherwise, we could be stepping into a train that is slightly off the rails.
Post-Pandemic Worship
Do you feel like a couple of years of … abnormalness… made worship different? I do. Not only did we change our habits, but the changes in our lives that would have happened anyway have also brought us to different places.
Even now, sharing this post with you, I’m struggling with habits and changes and decisions — all that.
Feel free to share in the comments how you feel about your journey of worship.
I’m leaving you with all this —
- ways to check the foundation,
- answers to seek,
- and a reminder that worship is vital in the life of the believer.
Mostly because I need to hear it myself.
Thanks for being here. Really.
And if you’re interested in How To Welcome Guests To Your Church, please check out my topic on that. You’ll find some practical helps beyond the greeting.
I’ve got a fun list of “twelves” for you. Check out the post. Amazing just how many dozens are in the Bible!
I’m always wanting you to join me, peering into (and out of) the Church.
It’s hard work, exploring challenges to believers who are seeking to understand Bible truths.
What are you and I going to do about this difficulty people have finding a Church?
This book, by Michael Youssef, was released in March 2021. It’s an important read for your family. Perfect for right now, when messages around us are so discouraging.
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-Grammye
I’m Grammye, and I’m collecting and sharing ideas that can help you embrace the life you have.
When things are difficult, come here to refresh and relax. We’ll have coffee and talk.
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Thank you for visiting! At GFP company is always welcome!
If you liked this topic, feel free to 
share 
on Facebook or Pinterest, or send a link to a friend.
Are you on Pinterest? That is a crazy fun place! You can find so many helpful things. Take a look at what I’ve saved for you! A lot of things that never make it to the blog. Here are my Pinterest pins, and I have lots of categories/boards if you’re looking for something specific.
-Grammye
New here?
I’m Grammye, and I’m collecting and sharing ideas that can help you embrace the life you have.
When things are difficult, come here to refresh and relax. We’ll have coffee and talk.
You’re invited
to the neighborhood of GFP.
Accept by signing up
and I’ll send you a letter right away.
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