How Do I Protect My Kids?

February 15, 2024

How do I protect my kids? It’s the most frightening question a parent can ask. Just the thought of threat can cripple a parent instantly. Is that you? The parent who is afraid something will happen to your child?

It’s a question you ask yourself multiple times each day. Because they are children. They are small and fast and have very poor decision-making skills.

Toddlers may eat Tide pods, run into walls, explore electrical sockets, and even eat snacks from the garbage can.

Children are not quite sure that unicorns are pretend.

They can’t separate pretend from truth. They are children, and must be led and protected.

We have to give them healthy food choices and close supervision outdoors.

They must be told to go to bed, because they don’t recognize the signs of fatigue, and aren’t capable of managing their schedules.

Adolescents are capable in some things, but often lacking in basic life skills and definitely not to be trusted in making important decisions. They still have much to learn.

So at what age are they able to make good choices?

When are children capable of making adult decisions?

Criteria for autonomy requires these qualities: rational, independent, mature, competent. When does that happen?

Studies show that true maturity usually is achieved around age 25. Legal autonomy is at 21, or 18, depending on the specifics. Driving is allowed at 16.

Seems like before that, parents are pretty much in charge. After all, everyone can agree that children need guidance and even restrictions on their behavior. We don’t want them eating Tide pods, driving themselves to Kindergarten, or some other bad-judgement activity, right?

“Protecting My Kids Is Paramount”

Most parents would agree with that statement. Many would say it’s the most important thing. The rest would at least agree it’s a parent’s job.

For you, where does this parental duty fall in your hierarchy? Near the top of the list?

Well, yeah, but… Wait… What’s on that list?

It depends on who you ask.

How Do I Protect My Kids? The Duties of Parents

Sometimes we confuse “rights” and “responsibilities” — in life and in parenting. Having statements about it can be helpful.

And just so you know, today is kind of about both. You have the responsibility to protect your children, and you also have the right.

As a parent, you’ve probably compared notes with a friend, or made statements about your “absolutes” as a parent, in regard to whatever current issues are at hand.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was some kind official list?

Australia (New South Wales) actually has a list:

to protect your child from harm
to provide your child with food, clothing and a place to live
to financially support your child
to provide safety, supervision and control
to provide medical care
to provide an education

It’s very sensible.

And here’s a concise statement by a lady who wants to sum it all up at “Your Most Important Job As A Parent”

It’s a good article, but I’ll tell you the bottom line (for the TLDR). She says it’s this:

Teach and prepare our kids to leave.

Which sounds like a fast track, right? This goal just isn’t on your mind when you’re decorating the nursery, or taking the first-day-of-kindergarten picture.

I’m sure there are endless resources to advise you about your rights, responsibilities, duties, or however you view it.

**But YOU — what about YOUR kids?**

Those lists are great. And we can really get an idea of how to express our intentions by reading them. But in the end, you must set your own priorities. After all, you’re the parent.

You have to step back, and get that wide view of an entire life, and prioritize what you’ll do for your children.

“How to protect my kids” is just one aspect of parenting, but it’s a big one.

Because no one needs to get between you and your child.

But sometimes they do. They try to get between you and your child. Sometimes you can see them doing it.

Scarier: Sometimes you can’t.

Protecting My Kids: Potential Danger, and Actual Danger

Actual danger, well, that’s easy. Take the sharp object away from your injured toddler and treat the minor wound. Catch your infant before they tumble to the floor. Run toward your child’s screams and sweep them into your arms as the stray dog approaches. Those are pretty actual, right?

End the threat and treat the damage.

But potential danger. That’s the hard one.

You’re preventing possible future threats, right? So you have to be aware, and informed, and assertive.

After all, you’re the parent.

You have to look beyond the “here and now” and into the “then and there”.

You have to imagine what might happen, and take steps to prevent it.

So we put away the sharp objects, train them not to climb onto tables, and be on the lookout for stray dogs.

And there it is: The game plan to protect your kids.

Put away, train, and be on the lookout.

Let’s focus on these three, as we consider all the scary things in the future.

Certainly sharp objects, medications, and firearms should be inaccessible to children. So should curling irons, nail polish, and toothpaste. Also Tide pods and even hand soap. Paper books aren’t for unsupervised toddlers, and neither are markers.

We put away to avoid potential danger.

And then we train.

Keep the cookies in this room. Mommy answers the door, not you. Here’s where your socks go. Keep your seat belt buckled. And so on.

And don’t forget the temptation of the toilet, with enough water to drown a child, and a mechanism for flushing household objects that is completely irresistible. I could go on, but you get the point. Training sometimes sounds like… Don’t. Don’t flush, don’t touch the stove, don’t climb, don’t open the door.

A lot of don’t instructions, but also a lot of do instructions.

These toys stay in this area. Ask permission to play with this one. Hold my hand in this place. Sit here while we read. Hold the fork this way. Hold on tight as you climb the ladder to the slide.

Training is actually exhausting. Because it’s constant, and demanding, and important. You can’t skip it.

Training — so that we teach, but also so we avoid potential danger. It’s the one that makes your brain tired.

But then, we have the third area of protection, the one that makes your heart tired.

Be On The Lookout.

What are we looking for, the areas of potential danger ahead?

Some people are very relaxed, and unconcerned, feeling assured that potential dangers are distant and rare and unlikely.

Others are living in a state of worry, anxious that potential dangers are imminent, common, and extremely likely.

But really, as parents, we need to be training ourselves. Learning to be aware, informed, and assertive. Potential danger is there, and we know it.

Instead of being blindsided as we ignore threats, and instead of being unable to act due to anxiety, let’s be managers. Let’s take charge of those situations, soldier up and stand firm. Because the danger is absolutely there, and as parents we are absolutely responsible.

It’s so hard, finding the balance between unconcern and anxiety. But we have to.

How Do I Protect My Kids From Predators?

The thought of abduction is terrifying to parents. We protect our children by teaching stranger danger, or the better term, Tricky People. Read the article about Tricky People to get real help in training your child.

We also worry about our children engaging in risky behavior. Starting early with this is best, as most risky behavior increases during adolescent years. Read about Risky Behavior and how to protect your children.

Here’s the thing:

These threats and others often begin with one thing:

A lie.

Lies are sneaky, and often sound like the truth. Lies are destructive. This is really what is scary, that our kids will believe a lie.

How Do I Protect My Kids?

Be Aware, Informed, and Assertive.

We can’t get a guarantee of safety from the world. I wish we could.

Awareness, then, is the beginning of being an effective and protective parent.

That’s why you’re here today, to raise your own awareness.

Next, you must be very intentional about information. You must seek it out and understand it.

It’s an awful thing, to investigate the harms that could come to our children, but without this information, the lies may be believed.

Being informed about potential dangers means being fully informed about every setting your child is in — every hour of every day.

Understand the potential dangers and know what your boundaries are.

Once you’ve determined those boundaries, your own rules will give a framework for actively protecting your child.

Your child is young, innocent, and vulnerable.

Put away the Tide pods and the firearms.

Train your child to know what is right, and what is wrong.

And

Be on the lookout for things you may notice, but your child may not.

Protecting My Kids From Internet Predators

Consider eliminating or disabling listening devices in your home: webcams on your laptops and computer monitors. Also on your smart appliances, gaming devices connected to your TV, and your phones. Be wary of electronic personal home assistants listening to your every word.

Children may really not know they shouldn’t eat laundry pods. They really might pick up a weapon because they are curious. They might discuss location information, names, or schedules in the presence of an electronic assistant.

You know this: Your devices can be hacked. Which just sounds disgusting. Hacked. Sounds like throw-up, right? But that’s what our devices do: They constantly “throw up” our personal information. It’s poured forcefully into the hands of shifty bandits we cannot see.

Our kids shouldn’t be vulnerable to internet bandits.

Kids. They don’t know what they should do.

But you do know what they should and shouldn’t do.

After all, you are the parent.

Protect My Kids: Giving Wise Permission

Your young ones really do need your permission to attend school, have their teeth cleaned, or have their tonsils out.

But (surprisingly) when it comes to any kind of medical care related to sexual behavior, parental consent is often bypassed.

So, a person really could convince your child that taking hormones in the form of birth control pills doesn’t need risk consideration.

A surgical procedure could be performed on your daughter to end the life of an unborn baby, without your knowledge or consent.

Or a person could really convince them that disguising their bodies with medication or surgery would actually change them into what they are not. Which of course is a lie.

(Any of these could lead to lifelong consequences and sacrifices. But because it is related to sexual behavior, parental consent can be bypassed.)

But here’s the thing: Sometimes we don’t know what lies are, because we are uninformed. Sometimes our sons and daughters don’t know what lies are.

Children are so vulnerable to lies, and it puts them at risk.

That’s why they have you, parents, to build a foundation of trust and honesty, to help your child navigate and understand the realities of this world. Because here, we must deal with evil, danger, and lies.

Moms and Dads, I love you for being here and being willing to open your eyes to what is happening around us. I hope what you read next serves as an encouragement in your determination to stand between your child and those who intend to harm them.

Be diligent as a parent, and know when that intrusive arm tries to come between you and your child.

Build your network of trusted friends and family members. Set rules and boundaries that help your child recognize when things don’t “fit.”

Have frequent discussions and keep learning, so that you know the enemy and the tactics.

And above all, build that solid home, that safe base for your children. Be sure they are clear on where they belong, and clear on the signals and the feelings of healthy love.