Ways to Be Thankful at Thanksgiving

Original: November 16, 2020

(Updated November 9, 2021)

Are you stressed, looking for ways to be thankful at Thanksgiving? Me too! Come find a way to sort through all this and decide how to celebrate this year.

THANKSGIVING ANXIETY OVER THE YEARS

Are you apprehensive about family celebrations? I have been somewhat anxious — both now and in the past. Just not in the same way.

Its interesting, really. In the past, “holiday anxiety” topics were about all the PLANS: cleaning the house, preparing the food, decorating the tables, and avoiding family conflicts.

Those worries were addressed in countless ways in every media. Magazine covers showed breathtaking tablescapes. Blogs covered how to declutter and clean. Recipes were everywhere. And writers thoughtfully tried to calm us with crash courses in family therapy.

These helpful pre-Thanksgiving articles have actually become a part of the celebration over the years. The preparation has grown as big as (or bigger than) the actual event. You know it’s true. You sought them out, read them, and collected them to fine-tune your celebrations.

That’s where we decided whether to use paper or cloth napkins, and whether to make tiny individual lattice covered apple pies sprinkled with coarse sugar (not). Every idea was carefully considered, and judged worthy or discarded.

THANKSGIVING ANXIETY, Pandemic Style

But the concerns this year are not about placecards or desserts or dishes. The concerns are actually about gathering. 😕 We don’t know if we should do it. But the holidays are almost here. And some of us still don’t know if we will cook a turkey or just eat a bowl of cereal.

It feels so strange. Like packing the car for summer vacation and driving the memorized route only to find the ocean has been relocated. We jump out of the car already wearing our swim rings… and it’s all gone. The hotel, the beach, the ocean. Gone. And we just stand there. We came all this way…

We don’t know what to do.

Do you feel that way? Like we’re standing poised with all our utensils and ingredients, but we don’t know what to do?

Please don’t ask me where to put the card table. I don’t know yet.

Do we gather? Will it be safe to eat together?

😧 Wait. Did someone just cough?

Conversations have been interesting. People are fearful, fearless, and everything in between. Trying to agree on a place of wisdom is difficult.

I love my traditions, and I feel like they are being threatened. But I think maybe I’ve got a way to come out on top. Several, actually.

Let’s go ahead and lay out some of those fears, because we are about to give thanks in a beautiful way.

ALL QUESTIONS, NO ANSWERS.

In the season of masks, drive-by birthday parties, and funerals that didn’t happen, we have adjusted our expectations already. Some of these restrictions and precautions were unthinkable just a couple of years ago.

Our traditions have been upended. And everybody knows that’s upsetting.

Here’s the big question we all have:

Will we be able to celebrate the holidays with joy? Will we find ways to be thankful?

And who decides?

WHO’S IN CHARGE?

One unfortunate consequence of the past two years is that we have lost a lot of control over our circumstances. Others have stepped in with authority and instructions, and we have submitted.

In one way, we may be somewhat relieved that firm plans were implemented to keep us safe. However, in another way we fear the camel of governmental authority has inserted its proverbial nose into our tent.

Will the camel be at our Thanksgiving table? Or sniffing around under our Christmas tree? 🐪

If it’s time to stand up for something, exactly what is it?

Isn’t that getting to the heart of the matter?

What’s the thing we will defend?

What’s the thing we will defend?

It was God who allowed faithful people to journey to a new land, and it was God who preserved the settlers and blessed their allegiance. It was God’s word that was consulted to form the laws for our society, and it was the morality of the Christian faith which modeled our civilization.

As a nation we have drifted elsewhere over time (and not that much of it).

In just a generation or two, we have allowed our young to dominate us with undeveloped ideals and immature longings. We have quietly watched, sometimes with little more than a frown, as incorrect behaviors took center stage. Not only were they allowed, but eventually they were honored.

And then our objections to them were silenced. We have been complacent as our nation’s focus drifted from faithful to greedy, from hard working to lazy, and from educated to idealistic. Obscenity elicits little more than a yawn, and the institution of marriage has become offensive.

We have a camel in our tent already, and it’s all the way in.

Its name is Young and Foolish. And soon it will be clothed with the authority of government.

For a sobering article on the trend being described, check out Christless Christianity by Michael S. Horton at Modern Reformation.

WHAT DO WE HONOR?

Our traditions?
Turkey and dressing?
Cute placecards?
The family photo?

Or is it something deeper? Is that what you’re thinking?

In the midst of what gets erased — through social distancing, mask wearing, and lawful restrictions on certain gatherings, we need to be sure of what is important, the things we can’t allow to be erased.

**What ARE Those Things?**

With this question, the discussion is open. Please come to the (virtual) table here with your thoughts. What would you tell me to preserve? To protect?

I know that I must protect my relationship with Christ.
I must protect wisdom, the understanding of God’s word.
I must protect love.

It’s easy to take the long view.

The trouble seems to come when I try to articulate my plan for the next hour, day, or month. When I try to connect the dots of knowledge to the dots of action.

In the very center, the foundation for it all, is God. It is Christ crucified, my own redemption.

This beautiful prayer speaks to the only God, the one we worship.

PRAISE AND THANKSGIVING

(A prayer from The Valley of Vision, which is a Collection of Puritan Prayers.)

O My God, Thou fairest, greatest, first of all objects,

my heart admires, adores, loves thee,

for my little vessel is as full as it can be,

and I would pour out all that fullness before thee in ceaseless flow.

When I think upon and converse with thee

ten thousand delightful thoughts spring up,

ten thousand sources of pleasure are unsealed,

ten thousand refreshing joys spread over my heart,

crowding into every moment of happiness.

I bless thee for the soul thou hast created,

for adorning it, for sanctifying it,

though it is fixed in barren soil;

for the body thou hast given me,

for preserving its strength and vigour,

for providing senses to enjoy delights,

for the ease and freedom of my limbs,

for hands, eyes, ears that do thy bidding;

for thy royal bounty providing my daily support,

for a full table and overflowing cup,

for appetite, taste, sweetness,

for social joys of relatives and friends,

for ability to serve others,

for a heart that feels sorrows and necessities,

for a mind to care for my fellow-men,

for opportunities of spreading happiness around,

for loved ones in the joys of heaven,

for my own expectation of seeing thee clearly.

I love thee above the powers of language to express,

for what thou art to thy creatures.

Increase my love, O my God, through time and eternity.

Wow.

Yes, Lord, thank you. Amen.

I want to keep returning to those words, so beautifully penned in The Valley of Vision.

Can I Get from Lost to Found?

In a word, YES.

But there is no other way. Only one answer to that question. And it is this: Prayer.

All that drifting has muted the prayers of God’s people. Can we find our voice again?

Read this excerpt:

“Prayer is for desperate times and dire moments, when we’re backed in a corner — when humanly speaking, the desired outcome, and what seems to be our last chance, is painfully unlikely to unfold, and we need God. We need him to intervene.”

That quote is from this article: God Answers Better Than We Ask by David Mathis at Desiring God. It is a brilliantly written explanation of the way God’s wisdom conquers our foolishness.

Will that kind of thankfulness make its way into my holidays?

THANKSGIVING IS HERE

In a week or two, people will be doing things, and also not doing things. But before that, we will be discussing them. Possibly with difficulty. Because people are fearful, fearless, and everything in between.

And here I am, with the card table still folded, holding a wooden spoon and a bag of flour (and wearing a swim ring). Something is next. What is it?

For now, shouldn’t we be trying to focus on the heart of the matter? The things we don’t want erased? However we celebrate, and with whomever we do it, what is truly at the heart of it?

Your Thanksgiving celebration this year may be gloriously traditional. On the other hand, it could be wildly different and memorable. Your own circumstances and comfort level will be compared to the circumstances and comfort level of others.

Together decisions will be made about what you do, how you do it, and where you do it. You’ll decide on separate or together. Maybe it’s focused family time. Or a worship celebration. Your visit could be virtual instead of actual. What if there is a charity that collectively you can support? Can you create activities for children that reflect the purpose of the day?

If you’re interested in some of my traditional recipes, check out my Enjoying Fall post for a few pictures and links.

Over the years I have changed my priorities many times. I have hosted dinners, attended dinners, and skipped dinners.

Here’s one suggestion: Each household in the family can consider how Thanksgiving Day would be celebrated in a way that is meaningful and free of stress. There should be a focus on blessings and togetherness, and their time away from work should be enjoyable. Then decide how to embrace that.

I wonder what your plans are?

Here are some collections of ideas, in case you’re searching:

Taste of Home’s 12 Fun and Safe Ways to Celebrate.

Ideas from Real Simple for your Thanksgiving celebration.

Family Life’s 10 Great Ideas for a Meaningful Thanksgiving really does add meaning to your celebration.

What a great book: Squanto and the Miracle of Thanksgiving by Eric Metaxas, at Christianbook.

Would you like some really creative ways to use this season to express thankfulness? Some of them are so good, they need to be year-round things. Especially this one: 12+ Clever Ways To Give Thanks. Great ideas.

How many things can we focus on that really draw our hearts back to thankfulness? I want to wrap myself in thankfulness this season, and stay that way. I want to read the prayer above, and tuck myself in, to sit securely beside the one who will bless me, plan for me, preserve me.

In your plans and your conversations, don’t forget to preserve what you don’t want erased. What will you talk about with your family? And will you pray to the God who preserves and protects you?

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-Grammye

I’m Grammye, and I’m collecting and sharing ideas that can help you embrace the life you have.

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