Updated March 15, 2021
You’re tired. Discouraged.
Come here. I see you.
The focus on our failures, real or imagined. Is it a foundation for guilt? Yes.
Instead, build a foundation for joy and success.
How Do I Deal With Mom Guilt?
- Why do I have mom guilt?
- What are ways to deal with mom guilt?
- Exactly how do I frame things to avoid mom guilt?
All these are questions we ask ourselves, as moms. Maybe we realize we have been irritable or distracted. Or maybe this current season has worn us down or interfered with important plans.
You start thinking about all the things you’re doing wrong.
A wise person once shared this with me:
Most of our emotional problems are linked to guilt;
- either guilt over things we have done or not done,
- or guilt that was placed on us that didn’t belong.
So mom guilt can be either of these — guilt from our own behavior, or guilt that is misplaced.
Mom Guilt. Why?
I wanted something really meaningful for you today, the day after Mother’s Day. Why? Because sometimes we feel we don’t deserve what we get. (Or we think we deserve more!)
Don’t you love the gifts? It’s so much fun to be treated. I love the gifts that were picked for me, and the expressions of love. So nice to be treated.
Yes, but…
Yes, but a corner of me knows I have not been completely devoted. Or another corner of me knows there are issues I haven’t been able to resolve. Or another corner fears that I have not invested in what prepares people for what lies ahead.
My corners. Fickle, failed, fearful. It’s a great foundation for mom guilt, a great start to a downward slide into a self-fulfilling belief system. 🙁
And this is how failures begin, with a great foundation.
So do successes.
Can you imagine overcoming the failure/guilt with success/joy? What if you looked for something to start a foundation for success and joy?
Two helps for you today, and they are great.
There are mom bloggers I absolutely love. GraceAnna Castleberry is one of those. If I ever need a nudge to be a better thinker, she’s the one to do it. Her nudges are beautiful. Here’s a link to her March 5, 2020, post on Mothering Is Discipleship.
If you want to connect with your family in that “better way” this will encourage you. It takes your heart out of the tasks and into the intentions. Please, go and be nudged.
And there’s a reason I said “connect” there. The second source of help today comes from Rachel Norman. She’s been around, but I just found her. And just in time for today. She helps you think about “connecting.” This article was exactly what I was seeking, A Surprising Root of Mom Guilt.
Sometimes you just need practical steps to get you started. I’ll warn you, her advice is so captivating you will be looking for more. I’ll be doing some more exploring myself.
Step by step she leads you into sensibility and order.
Over time, you start to see changes in yourself and the people around you. Just because you decided to change your perspective, and change your habits.
Taking it to heart…
Can I say something honest here? I’m a grandmother following mom blogs and faith blogs 🤨 for a reason.
I want to do things better.
Maybe you’re feeling like the slow trudging uphill is all you have now. I get it. Days are too hard, your assignment is too big, and you’re too tired. It just doesn’t seem like it will lead to “better.”
Take a breath. And hear this: There’s no good basis for that hopeless feeling. It comes to you out of fatigue, discouragement, or even from the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
So look up.
Please don’t resign yourself to “just getting through the day.” There is so much more for you as a mother, as a person. Those things you’ve done are planted and being watered, and you will see their blooms one day.
- I am not saying it’s easy.
- I’m saying it’s worthy.
It’s worth doing.
Investing, learning, ministering. Please take this encouragement and a little spark of energy to think about those better things, those better ways.
People are out there with so much to share, so much to invest in you, so that you can invest in others.
Look up. With your heart, look up from your circumstances.
Get some better words in your thoughts, like
- nurture
- encourage
- inspire.
And then, look up the people who spend their days sending help to you.
More resources? Sometimes you want a book in your hand.
James Dobson Parenting Collection. Helping you to understand the calling of parenthood.
And if you need to lighten up, try Erma Bombeck’s book on Motherhood.
Those are two people who never knew me, but they invested in my life by sharing their experience and their perspective. It helped me to look up.
Thank you. For reading this, for caring about what is said here. For trusting that you might find something encouraging.
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If you feel like praying, it’s just a quick click to My Current Prayer.
And several posts are here about relationships. There’s information on discipline that speaks to discouraged moms. Maybe you’ll come back. 😉
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-Grammye
I’m Grammye, and I’m collecting and sharing ideas that can help you embrace the life you have.
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