April 28, 2025
What are things that haunt you? Sadness, hurt, guilt, from your past? Maybe it’s time to put them in their place.
But how?
How do you reduce these from driving-force obsessions to mere memories? Because that’s what we are all asking.
Our mind. It can be so sunny and peaceful, so open to new ideas and possibilities, so clean and fresh.
When it’s like that, you can see the path ahead, the hope beyond, and you have the energy to make progress.
You’re rich in ideas and expectations. Full of community and relationships.
Until the ghosts of the past come to haunt you.
THINGS THAT HAUNT YOU
There’s no such thing as a ghost, right? But there is a shadow of a past event, probably several. A person or an event that you reluctantly added to the “regret” pile of recollections in your biography.
Old memories you wish you didn’t have.
Memories that rise up every time you relax. They interrupt your peace and your progress, and color your viewpoint all wrong. They know when you’re trying to sleep, or when you feel relieved or hopeful.
Suddenly those dark doors open, and old thoughts rush out to replay past harms. Sometimes they take turns, and sometimes they all come at once, overwhelming you with that familiar sense of failure. Yet again.
Stealing Your Solace
You feel robbed, right? Because you were getting all happy and hopeful, until something came and knocked you down again.
Like a creepy thief came once again to steal your joy, to run off with your optimism.
You’re unsettled, and your goals are once again unclear, or they’ve vanished.
The defeat hurts.
Killing Your Comfort
If you found relief, you can’t make it last. Those old dark thoughts will conceal it, neutralize it, remove it. You’ll feel like you never even had relief in the first place.
Now you’re frightened again. Or sad. Or discouraged.
And you once again find yourself surrounded by loss, doom, and destruction.
Destruction of Dreams
How many ventures have they destroyed? How many times did you give up a dream, or a relationship, or a pursuit, because the negativity spoiled it all?
You almost count it as a lesson learned — Don’t dream or plan. It never works out.
Mistakes, betrayals, loss. Maybe they are yours, maybe they belong to someone else. But they are in your own dark doors.
PEOPLE TRY TO HELP
Those around you see the relief, the hope, and the pursuit. They want to help, to show you the good things. They try to remind you, and they try to offer ideas to get you around the blockade.
They keep putting it in front of you, but the dark thoughts won’t let you see it.
So now you are at odds with the people around you, maybe even a little angry because they can’t see that your hands are tied and you can’t get free.
(Add that to the dark doors: Conflict with friends and family.)
YOU NEED SOLUTIONS.
You need answers, help, solutions.
Solutions no one seems to have.
You’re exhausted, pushing this heavy vehicle of your heart down the road. Because it breaks down so often.
Everyone else’s vehicle seems to be running fine. They drive by you, happy, waving, and getting somewhere.
While you push forward, all your effort still doesn’t get you where they’re going. It’s not fair.
So Why Bring It Up?
You’re about to hear 3 facts.
If the first one doesn’t make you mad, the second probably will. And you’ll be sure I’m wrong about the third.
Because that’s how this works.
And remember — I’m just talking on the porch. I’m not a therapist, and the only training I have is OJT. The on-the-job training of life.
Here’s the first one:
1. The Myth of “No Solution” is a Part Of the Deception.
That’s right.
The idea that you won’t get better is a part of the dark doors.
Anytime you start thinking there’s an answer, a solution, a better way, it will be whisked away before you can even review it.
The very condition of being hopeless prevents you from getting anywhere close to hope. It’s just a part of it. Hope is still a thing everywhere else, but you don’t have clearance or access to it right now.
You’re unable to think or say that things can get better. You can’t even say you want them to get better. Because, the dark doors keep you from seeing it.
That’s point number one. There’s an illusion that there’s no hope.
Which makes you feel constantly unhappy.
Your Joy Is In Jail.
Yep. Your joy. It still exists, but it’s imprisoned and can’t get out.
If you say, “I’ve got no joy, joy, joy down in my heart” then you’re making my point for me. You feel like nothing is good, right?
Joy, peace, hope, those would be really good. They are good. You just can’t see them. They’re not yours right now.
But you know they are still around, because other people seem to have plenty.
How Did This Happen?
In the simplest terms, joy and hope and peace are the good guys.
And there are bad guys. The bad guys steal, kill, and destroy.
The bad guys have competed for your business, and it’s looking good for them. If they can continue to hide the truth. If they can continue to steal your solace, kill your comfort, and destroy your dreams.
You probably missed it when you were reading a minute ago. But it was all there. Steal, kill, destroy.
Right this minute, you can accept that your thoughts have been taken captive. If you want to.
How did your joy get in jail?
It has to do with this second point you’re about to see.
2. Good and Evil
So here it is, the truth that will surely make you mad. But deep down you know about it.
There really are two opposing forces, good and evil. They each really do have a captain, and they really do want to hold power over you.
Why?
They both want to recruit you, hopefully to promote you to a position of influence, but at the very least they want your loyalty.
The dark doors of imprisonment and failure — those belong to the bad guy. The purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. They want you as a victim or a participant.
But the good — That’s the force you are having more trouble finding. The captain speaks of joy, peace, hope, and freedom. He wants you, too, sending recruiters and messages to you in various ways.
And he has more clout than the bad guy. He actually can offer protection, knowledge, and training that will help you overcome the dark doors.
(Remember — Point number one is the myth that there’s no hope. The illusion that tries to obscure the truth.)
Point number two: There really is a God, and there really is a Satan.
You’re being fought over. By good and evil.
Which tells you that you have value.
Wow.
Your Human Value
It’s not your intrinsic value. Not the value of your visible beauty, or your skill, or your money. Not your skin and bones, or your physical ability. Not even your gold crowns.
It’s the value of your soul. Your mind and heart. That’s what they’re fighting for. Your loyalty, your energy, and your destiny.
3. There Is a Map To Escape
This is the third point.
Can you escape the attacks of your thoughts?
Yes.
You can ask for the escape map.
The map has two forms, and you need both. At the same time.
The first map is the “You Are Here” diagram, the close-up map that a professional counselor/therapist can show you. This is the physical review of how you got painted into this corner. Also the explanation and habits that will take you back to the freedom of choices. It’s the close-up view with the “right-now” labels.
The second map is the satellite view, the explanation of how the world works. From way far away, showing everything (including time). How it all started, how it will end, and what your part in it is. This is what you learn from the moral and intellectual handbook, because it gives the history of how you got here, and the explanation and habits that will take you back to the freedom of choices.
The third point is that you need a trained counselor and a Christian mentor to get back on track. They have the maps.
Maybe you think these aren’t for you.
How will you know, if you aren’t sure of their role and function?
The Role of a Counselor
What would counseling do?
Counseling is a professional service that provides guidance and support for individuals facing emotional, psychological, or behavioral challenges.
It helps people understand and cope with their feelings, improve mental health, and enhance personal growth.
That’s from an article called “The Importance of Counseling” which is a very good overview of what different types of counseling can achieve in your life.
The Role of a Christian Mentor
You feel like you’re wrestling? It’s not imagined.
Ephesians 6:12 says:
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
You’re totally wrestling and it’s real.
But there are folks who are willing to get in the ring with you. People in your corner. People who point out what’s going on, who refresh you, and who know the rules of the game.
If there’s someone who prays for you, someone who talks about Christ, someone who talks about the truths in the Bible, that person is on the team of the good guys.
The Three Points Once More…
- There’s an illusion that there’s no hope.
- There really is a God, and there really is a Satan.
- You need a trained counselor and a Christian mentor to get back on track.
I know plenty of people, and you do, too, who won’t like these three points.
Is it because they’re wrong? Or because they are difficult?
Taking off that blanket of mistaken ideas will make you shiver. In fact, it’s so uncomfortable that it can make you climb a little deeper into the cocoon of what feels like protection. The place that feels safe, and keeps people sympathetic to you.
And right this minute, you can stay right there. You’re only reading, right? And I certainly have no reason or authority to drag you anywhere you don’t want to be.
All you’re doing is gathering information and ideas. And that’s safe.
It’s quiet, and no one can see you. Not even me.
Taking Charge of Things That Haunt You
Each day you wake up and face the same struggles, right? The same memories, the same hopelessness, the same drudgery.
Is that right?
It’s like this…
When that someone who prays for you talks about joy, or peace, or healing, it sounds like a far-off sound, doesn’t it? Something that isn’t near.
So you respond politely, but that message goes in your “Maybe Garden.”
What’s the Maybe Garden?
That’s where you put things that you haven’t ruled out, but you haven’t tried to grow them, either.
Those ideas just wait. Wait for you.
They are messages to you from the captain of the good guys, messages sent to you with compassion and love. Messages of intention.
So What’s The First Step?
The first step is simply acknowledging there will be a step. Because you haven’t been doing that.
You decide what you can do.
- Can you call or text that friend who has been urging you to get help?
- Can you establish or re-establish a relationship with a pastor, or a counselor, or both?
- Can you start to examine your “Maybe Garden” and see if there is one idea you could begin to address?
Any of these would be a chance to open a sunny window into your soul, a chance to enrich a relationship, a chance to regain the hope that you haven’t seen in a while.
A first step is small, but you get full credit for it. Even reading this topic. It counts toward your progress.
But progress has been so elusive, right? You haven’t let yourself say the word.
You don’t say “get better” either. Because the myth told you it won’t happen.
But I’m standing up to the myth. And you can, too.
Just saying that you can is a step that counts.
But it’s hard. It’s hard to look at those “maybes” for too long. Better to glance quickly, and then look away. Because it’s difficult.
But not impossible.
You’re about to see this one blessing today, delivered right to your heart. One sentence. A promise/thought/blessing that sounds impossible. Too good to be true. So good that you’ll be tempted to say “That’s not meant for me.”
But don’t. It is meant for you.
It’s from the Bible.
The Bible is so big. In fact, every time you read it, it seems bigger. It takes some time to figure out the categories and the order.
If you don’t know how, it can be overwhelming.
But sometimes you just need one verse. One thought, one truth.
THIS ONE PROMISE
Romans 15:13 says this:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
What a hope that is.
It isn’t a birthday wish or a greeting card. Probably in those dark days it seems like that’s all it is. Whisper it, blow out the candles, then go back to bed.
But you’re wrong.
It’s this beautiful mix of a longing and a blessing and a promise.
It’s a message, sent straight to you from God himself, offering something so big it can’t fit in any container you have. It’s a messenger whispering it to you.
It’s a reminder of a promise that has been made by the best promise keeper. It’s an invitation, a love letter, and a pathway out of darkness.
- Can you say the message to yourself?
- Can you read it today? And tomorrow?
- Can you write it down somewhere?
- Can you tell someone that you’re meditating on it?
That might help something in your Maybe Garden start to grow, maybe would give the sunlight and water it’s been missing.
Maybe you’re trying to figure out why you were invited here.
Why?
Why did I write this, and why did you read?
Because we both know that struggles come, in ourselves and in those we care about. Things that haunt you.
Because we both know there’s a choice to live defeated, or live victorious. And we know how big the space can be between those two.
Because there is hope, and joy, and peace.
Because you have value.
Because 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says this:
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Remember the ideas?
- Can you call or text that friend who has been urging you to get help?
- Can you establish or re-establish a relationship with a pastor, or a counselor, or both?
- Can you start to examine your “Maybe Garden” and see if there is one idea you could begin to address?
- Can you repeat the message to yourself?
- Can you read it today? And tomorrow?
- Can you tell someone that you’re meditating on it?
Related Posts
This isn’t the first time I’ve sent this kind of message to you, is it? 🤔
Because I know you’re there.
I know it’s a struggle.
I also know there’s a way out. 👉🏻 Have you ever done one of those walk-through wooden mazes? Our family used to do them often. Whoever got out first could run up some steps to a platform that overlooked the maze. From there, they could see the way out, and they would urge the rest on with advice — turn back, go left, keep going — until they reached the exit. If anyone didn’t want help, that was honored. 😉 Maybe they wanted to work it out alone.
Look up and see who is calling out to you from the platform. What are they telling you, to help you find your way? Maybe it’s time for a new direction.
If you want more reading, try this old post: Why Don’t Things Work Out For Me? It was in a series of “struggles” that seem to come to all of us.
First Steps Toward Freedom From Things That Haunt You
Here’s the kind of thing people will tell you, if you let them.
When those intrusive thoughts won’t leave you alone, try using some mental imagery to distance them. For instance, picture the thought, and imagine you have a dimmer switch. See the words of those thoughts, and imagine them becoming dimmer and less visible as you darken the switch. Little techniques like this will help in the moments.
Use your time well, gathering helpful or encouraging stories to focus your attention on. Work hard at remembering the things that once brought you pleasure. Spend time doing a little mental exercise during the day. It helps you to reconnect with your happiness, and makes you remember that it’s still within reach.
Think about music you love, places you love, activities you love.
Create your own visual picture of a sunny garden or meadow. Or think of the sound of a child’s laughter, or remember how babies smell after a bath.
Imagine yourself in a hammock, fully relaxed and peaceful. Think about how your body feels when you’re comfortable and satisfied.
In other words, gradually train your mind to diminish negative ideas and increase positive ones.
These are ways to call back moments of pleasure you once had, and let them back in.
(And if you just said it’s not possible, remember the myths we outlined a minute ago.)
Listen to the voice of the captain, the Good Shepherd who calls to you over the noise of unhappiness. His messengers bring you good news.
Open your Bible. Read through the book of Romans, or 2 Corinthians, or anything. Read the Psalms. Full of sadness, defeat, hopelessness, and also victory.
Check out Verses for When You’re Feeling Discouraged.
Psalm 40:1-3 – “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.”
Let hope back in.
Thank you for being here. For giving yourself a moment to consider hope.
By the way, 😎
Some of the products mentioned as links on the blog are affiliate links. That means a merchant may give me a tiny reward if you buy something I recommended to you. Tiny rewards like that, plus the sale of my own products, help to reduce the ongoing cost of the blog. (Or, as my husband calls it, my expensive hobby. 😉)
Find out more about that here.
Thank you for visiting! At GFP company is always welcome!
If you liked this topic, feel free to 
share 
on Facebook or Pinterest, or send a link to a friend.
Are you on Pinterest? That is a crazy fun place! You can find so many helpful things. Take a look at what I’ve saved for you! A lot of things that never make it to the blog. Here are my Pinterest pins, and I have lots of categories/boards if you’re looking for something specific.
-Grammye
New here?
I’m Grammye, and I’m collecting and sharing ideas that can help you embrace the life you have.
When things are difficult, come here to refresh and relax. We’ll have coffee and talk.
You’re invited
to the neighborhood of GFP.
Accept by signing up
and I’ll send you a letter right away.
Subscribing to GFP is just like getting a magazine. Except it’s free! You won’t be asked for any payment information.
So say yes, then check your junk/spam mail in case the confirmation gets lost on the way!
