July 16, 2021
What does it mean to SERVE? And what does that look like in our lives? Come get a deeper look at a word we don’t see or use often enough.
What does it mean to Serve?
And do I need to?
When’s the last time you used that word? Maybe reading something? It’s not common these days.
When you close your eyes and imagine the word, what’s the picture?
- Two hands outstretched, palm up?
- Or maybe something to eat or drink being handed to a guest?
Serve — “to perform a duty or service for another person.”
It seems like that should settle it. Something you do for someone else. You’ll probably know when you are (or when you aren’t).
Actually in the business world, especially online, there’s a big urge to serve your customers.
I’ve seen that word a lot. In conducting business, the objective is to offer something of value. It’s what we strive for.
But, what if there’s more? What if it’s way more comprehensive?
Like, way more…
What If You Have to Serve Everybody ALL THE TIME??
That doesn’t seem fair, does it?
Acting purely as a servant for others is not the life we envision for ourselves. 😕
When would we have time to pursue our own interests?
And why are we talking about it?
Because we need to have a full understanding.
Why is it on my mind?
Because of a recent conversation with a close friend. She and I are always trying to get to the heart of things. Persistent irritations, recurrent struggles, trying to make things work the way they should. Always trying to get the right perspective. I appreciate that so much, this friend who causes me to examine motives and habits.
Have you got a friend like that? She’s a treasure, right?
I left the visit inspired and thoughtful. Like a dog with a bone, I couldn’t stop thinking about that. Serving.
We’re commanded to serve. Christ himself said this clearly.
The book of Mark has these mentions you are familiar with…
If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.
Mark 9:34
But many who are first will be last, and the last first.
Mark 10:31
Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all.
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Mark 10:43b-45
What Does It Mean To Serve?
I kept thinking about this. It made me want to ask you:
How do you picture serving?
How do you see the pictures of serving over the course of your life?
Who are the servers around you?
Did you ever watch a patient care technician at a hospital? I did once. Not as a patient, but as a family member. She quietly went about her tasks, one after the other, and I knew when she finished she would go to the next room and repeat the process. Making the bed, answering questions, arranging items within easy reach. Here are their duties:
- Serving meals
- Changing bedding
- Assisting with restroom needs
- Measuring and monitoring vital signs
- Managing food and liquid intake
- Drawing blood
- Performing CPR
- Administering IVs
- Handling safety checks
- Offering emotional support to patients and families
Every single thing on that list is an actual task. No paper pushing, no pretending to get it done.
Of course she didn’t do every single thing on the list, but she would have. If it was needed.
I watched her, and finally asked her a question.
I asked how it felt to serve people at that level day after day?
Countless people, strangers really, over the course of a day, a week, a month. Maybe unable to speak, maybe unable (or unwilling) to be appreciative in any way. A relationship that will disappear as quickly as it began.
Her answer was quite beautiful: She knew she was providing a necessary service for people who weren’t at their best.
Her service wasn’t stimulated by the reward. It was stimulated by the need.
There’s something about that concept.
Something that makes it a thought just too large to be owned.
Service stimulated by a need. The platform for this is a few steps higher than the regular level of life.
It isn’t being done on the regular level. You have to step up to it.
This is a very adult thing. Schoolteachers do it. Nurses do it. Pastors do it.
They are motivated and equipped to see the needs on a deeper level, and they are also skilled to address them in a healing way. They have trained their perceptions and their actions specifically to serve.
Think about it: To recognize the need of another person, to step forward and minister, regardless of the reward, in a relationship that is not reciprocal.
So is there a distinction?
Nonreciprocal Serving.
Is this the thing? Nonreciprocal serving? Not expecting something in return…
Maybe I should explain.
Reciprocal is when there’s a kind of mirror response: I help you this week, you help me next week. You brought me chicken soup when I was sick. Here’s some for you, now that you’re the sick one. I help you at work, and you help me.
And things only get more confusing…
How do I think about my work? My job? I’m being compensated for my time. (Plus, if I serve extra well, that compensation may increase! Win!)
Am I focused on serving as I work? Or just completing a task for a paycheck?
The point? Some types of serving are mutual — two sided, give and take, rewarded.
They are still noble, and still a helpful contribution. We should definitely do it.
But nonreciprocal serving. That’s something else entirely.
I thought I was serving. What if that kind isn’t real?
Am I Serving?
Do I have a record of stepping forward to minister? Of seeing a need on a deeper level and addressing it, unmotivated by a reward?
Because I need to understand that this higher level of service isn’t necessarily going to be compensated with any kind of reward.
This “nonreciprocal serving” has pretty much been an elective up until just now…
Our Record Of Serving
Ding.
Oh, great. Did you hear that “ding” just now?
You know what that was?
Something else appeared on the report card. AKA as the “permanent record.”
I’m sorry, y’all. Nonreciprocal Serving is now a new line item. That means another course of study, another exam, and another grade.
Do you ever think this way? Or is it just me?
- That there’s still a report card circulating, and I need to remember to perform my best.
- That I’m being judged / graded.
Let me be clear — One thing has been settled — my salvation. I’m guaranteed to graduate. We’re just keeping track of my assignments and performance until then.
There’s a reason I think in “report cards” for a lot of things:
The need to take a hard look at myself and my actions and accept areas that need improvement.
I will never outgrow this.
We will give an accounting of ourselves as believers, and I need to keep that in mind.
So if there’s an accounting of our service, then we need to preview the course, right?
More About What It Means To Serve
So let’s look at the course of study for Nonreciprocal Serving. It’s kind of self guided.
There’s the textbook, the apprenticeship, and the practical.
🤔 Curiously, it’s an open-ended course. No end.
And it’s required.
In Philippians 2:1-11 Paul reminds us of the nature of the believer: service.
“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, …”
Philippians 2:1-11
What is it we need?
- A report card?
- Opportunity?
- Motivation?
- Understanding?
These things can urge us to serve.
Sometimes we need something to be our “eye-opener” and get us moving.
However, the absence of these can contribute to our failure to take action.
Perhaps the biggest obstacle is not understanding the command.
If we aren’t centered on the cross, our perspective is not correct.
The Cross.
When believers speak of the cross, it’s with a certain understanding:
Not the device of the cross, not the appearance.
The meaning. What Christ did.
Today our focus is this:
Christ served.
And instructed us to do the same.
He washed feet. He suffered. He even died.
Anything we do falls short of this kind of “serving.”
We should consider the question, “What Does It Mean to Serve?”
There is a beautiful collection of Scriptures regarding service, 25 Bible Verses About Serving from Bible Study Tools.
And if you want to grasp a deeper concept, I’ve got an incredibly satisfying topic for you to read.
Remember Paul being “poured out as a drink offering“?
Poured out…
I wanted to understand that fully.
This is a good explanation: The Drink Offering — Don’t Waste Your Life.
What’s the ending to “What Does It Mean To Serve”?
This should be the tidy conclusion, the take-away, the nugget you can tweet and repeat.
But I’m still spinning the idea.
Will you help me wind this up in the comments?
Yes. You tell me. 😮
Instead of a simply moving from here to the next task in your day, do this:
Leave a reply. ✍️
I know! A surprise ending!
I would love for you to share your thoughts about serving with our community.
If you had brought it up, what would you have said?
Would you love to settle in with Christian fiction? I’ll never forget the depiction of the character Hadassah in this series. Beautifully written.
You will read it, love it, and loan it.
The Mark of the Lion Series by Francine Rivers
An old book that still can be helpful, in the one thing that always gives us challenges: relationships. Get a fresh look at taking the time to really “see” how someone else feels.
The New One-Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard & Spencer Johnson
Thank you! At GFP company is always welcome!
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-Grammye
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Thanks for sticking around for this:
Tip of the week:
In One Minute Manager, by Ken Blanchard, there is an instruction. It’s one of the basic foundational concepts of the book.
It’s this: You don’t present a problem without also presenting a solution.
Here’s the quote:
“If you can’t tell me what you’d like to be happening”, he said, “you don’t have a problem yet. You’re just complaining. A problem only exists if there is a difference between what is actually happening and what you desire to be happening.”
👉 Let’s be the people
who come to the table
with intentional help,
not just
petulant dissatisfaction.
What does it mean, to serve?
-Grammye
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A very thought provoking post! I don’t know if I could add anything to it. Last night our pastor was speaking at church and he asked us how we knew that our spouse loved us. My answer was that he serves me, is thoughtful, and desires to please me and make me happy. Later I wondered about the service part. I am not the Master and him my servant. So what did that mean for him to show his love by his service? I guess I meant that he did all he could to meet my needs. He sacrifices daily, not living for himself but for me. Of course he is not perfect, and I am describing what I see in him for the most part. The best kind of service is that motivated by love❤️
Wow. Marriage (serving your spouse) is a beautiful example. And I didn’t even mention it. What you said: “That motivated by love.” It has to be that, doesn’t it? Meeting needs, motivated by love. This is the life we are called to in Christ. Society seems to be urging us all toward focusing on our own needs. It is tempting to indulge. And yet it seems like serving is almost impossible if self-love is our main goal. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and giving such a valuable addition to the conversation.
This is such an interesting topic because lately I’ve found myself wondering how I can best serve others in hopes of feeling better myself. Not sure if that’s the best way to go about things though, lol. Anyway, thanks for this post!
Stuart, thank you for visiting. I think I know what you’re saying, that serving others is something that gives us a kind of tangible value. There’s something satisfying about knowing you helped someone else. I continue to wrestle with serving, seeking both the noble validation it brings, and the evidence of the selfless giving that we are called to do. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.