March 9, 2020
Gently updated Juy 2023
What will I leave behind? What will remain of me? Memories? Trinkets? Or is it something a little more? Asking questions helps to figure it out.
Do you ever ask yourself that? What will I leave behind? What will be left here when I’m gone? When I’m whisked off to glory?
What will the memories be? I don’t mean legacy or fame. I’m not an inventor or an author; I’m just a person. My people will remember me, but how?
Now, I have no plans to exit right away. (I’m saying that because my mom reads my blog. She has been so supportive. Hi, Mom.) I’m not elderly, and my life is full of joy and people and pretty good health.
But one day I will exit, in the glorious C. C. Lewis way:
Now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story no one on earth has ever read, which goes on forever in which every chapter is better than the one before. (The Last Battle, C. S. Lewis)
So this is what I wonder about: When I am gone, what will people say? Will they all breathe a sigh of relief? Because I can be a very tiring companion!
Will they remember my mistakes? My fashion? (I hope not!) Will they remember how I treated them? Probably. That is a scary thought.
We all leave some kind of footprint, some kind of impression, as we live out our lives. After we’re gone (really gone), doesn’t someone pick up a trinket or a saved birthday card, or an old letter, and think for a second about the person who kept it?
What about right now — who thinks about us when we’re out of sight?
Our children and grandchildren, our co-workers, our siblings, our parents? The people who serve us in restaurants and stores, and the strangers who share our spaces, even briefly, throughout our lives? What about our friends?
And why am I thinking about this?
Reflecting
I think it’s age. We always should think about it. But it seems more important now. Even if I weren’t a grandmother, by this age I would have stacked up some relationships along the way.
It’s the question of whether we did it right, this relationship thing.
Here’s a reflection:
There’s a lot to say about the evolution of friendships:
As a young woman, your friendships have a certain quality, a certain carefree energy.
When you get older, or you marry, or when you become a mom, there’s a change in that quality and energy. It’s still there, but it’s richer, and has more meaning. The time you spend together is focused on something more important, and a new weight comes into your discussions.
This happens even more intensely as your lives unfold, as events challenge you, as you grow older, and as you examine yourself and your relationships.
And then you’re there.
An old person, or a grandmother.
A friend actually mentioned it recently, asked me how I liked being older.
Um, thanks… I just hadn’t really said it out loud. That I was “older.”
Older.
You’re expected to be wise, and patient, and cuddly, and all that. You’re expected to understand seriousness, and relaxedness.
And maybe some of the time you know that your influence doesn’t seem to match the expectations.
You can see that you’re adequate in some things, even great. And you have a better view of some of the wrong turns you made in the past.
So you’re trying to get a handle on who you actually are, and how you’re doing.
But you’re measuring with a different ruler now, and it’s important. You know?
Maybe you’re like me, spending time with your grandchildren. Maybe you’re an aunt, or you have invested in another family altogether.
Maybe your work involves opportunities and encounters that are meaningful.
And I just have to say it: We know that you reach an age when you have been a companion to (or a participant in) a lot of people’s situations. Maybe celebrations, maybe mentoring, or maybe some overwhelming, sad, or even tragic situations.
You’re different now.
You know more.
Do you have this question, too?
Are you with me? Getting to a point in your life when you can take a breath (barely) and think about your legacy?
And did you actually read this far? I love you for that. Thank you. I mean it.
Here are the things I’m thinking about…
- Your grandchildren will remember you as a patient person who always had time for a hug.
- Your husband will know that he was loved always.
- Your coworkers will remember your kindness.
So we want this, but we aren’t really in charge of what others think.
We are kind of in charge of some things:
- our behavior,
- our authenticity,
- our productiveness,
- our kindness.
- And our time management.
So we have to evaluate our habits and our tendencies, and we have to be intentional about our actions and decisions. We have to manage our disagreements and all our interactions.
Not to enhance our reputations, but to be stewards of our influence in the place where we are — to make a difference.
Are you in?
Now it’s getting clearer. We can’t manage the past without managing the present. Those things we leave behind? It’s the “right nows“.
How about a “word of the day” to ponder:
Edify.
Please, love this word with me. It means
“To build one another up, promoting the growth of Christian character.”
Romans 14:19 says
“So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.”
There it is.
Mutual upbuilding.
That’s what we are after, isn’t it? Something we do with our fellow travelers?
More than merely going from here to there.
Going well.
Don’t you need something more driving your decisions than the objective of getting through the day?
I do.
You know what? Let’s don’t worry so much about our legacy, about what we leave behind.
Our legacy: It’s the “right nows.” And, if we edify, maybe that takes care of itself.
Let’s pay attention to this day,
and the grace
we ourselves have received.
How will the
kindness and mercy of Christ
be evident in me today?
Thanks for sharing your porch time with me. Time is hard to come by, so valuable.
And you have those important things going on in your own heart and in the hearts around you.
Sometimes those heart things are so heavy. Your presence here means a lot to me. Come back anytime.
I’ll see you soon, right?
P.S. I love to read. The C. S. Lewis quote above came from the last book in the “Narnia” series. My confession to you: I read these books as an adult, and thoroughly enjoyed them. I bought the whole set in paperback. And when the grandchildren are a little older, I’ll enjoy reading it to them.
Chronicles of Narnia Boxed Set
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