June 19, 2020
Modestly updated 6-5-22
How do we respond when life is overwhelming? Just knowing we aren’t alone can be a comfort, and that can be source of grace and patience. Come here, and see how normal you are!
Why can’t I handle my life?
It ought to be so easy. It’s pretty ordinary. But sometimes I know I’m behind on things.
For instance, at night I want to sit down and relax. But I’m not finished with my …dishes / laundry / shower / work / fill in the blank. The family is quiet, asleep, and soon I am, too.
But in the morning something will be at the forefront. We will put our heads together about something – work, for sure. And maybe a home repair, meal planning, something we need from the store, fill in the blank. (Or it may just be my head that gets put together today.) The dusting and vacuuming are never really all finished. I have a system for that, but I have neglected it.
Everything seems barely caught up all the time. Why is that? And it gets me down. Stressed. You know? And then, things get to me.
Why do things get to me?
I’m so sorry I got so mad about that thing this afternoon, y’all. I really blew my stack, and I’m sorry.
At the time, it seemed that it really was a major crisis, not being able to get the Hungry Hungry Hippo game back into the box. 💥
“It’s okay, buddy. It’s not your fault.”
My mom always said it’s not the big things that send us over the edge. We handle the big things because we are strong southern women and we excel at managing a crisis.
It’s always that one last thing, the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Do you agree? That it can be that one more thing piling on?
I want to have more grace.
There are people who respond with such grace and calm when they get those “last straws.”
They can function just fine when life is overwhelming.
I want to be that “together” — I want to function well and make things work out.
But when I have too many “straws” I tend to develop some kind of laser focus on an insignificant random thing and suddenly I’ve made a federal case of it. My grace is gone, and I’m a crazy person shoving plastic hippo heads into a box and chasing lost marbles under the sofa.
Have you been there? Be honest. Yep. you have.
Because it just happens, right?
Here’s how women handle things:
Here’s the real truth about women going through the stages of life:
For the first year of marriage we throw ourselves onto the bed frequently, crying, asking ourselves how we could have married this person.
Then later we have an identical response when we bring home our first child. Onto the mattress with the tears. What has this baby done to my life?
Again with the second child (though more briefly because there’s so much less time), and so on.
We do it for other events, too.
When we ask ourselves why we took a job, or quit a job.
I’m not sure why we do this, the hurl-ourselves-on-the-mattress thing, or who invented it.
One thing is for certain: With this kind of stress, we can see why they tell us we need to replace our mattresses every 8 years.
Whether or not that’s a part of your picture, we all sometimes feel like we need to do the mattress hurl. Or we are under a heavy load.
“When life is overwhelming.”
That phrase, “When life is overwhelming”, was searched on Google 134,000,000 times. A hundred and thirty-four million.
Whew. I’m not alone. I’m just not sure who all those people are, and I’m worried about them. I don’t know how to connect with them.
But I can connect with you. It’s the heart of this blog, Grammye’s Front Porch.
That we need to be real, and say we’re struggling.
And when we realize (or say out loud) that we are struggling, we want to meet kindness.
Where would I be without that kindness? I have received it over and over.
The kindness that refreshes.
Do you know the kindness I mean? This:
The friend whose face shows complete recognition of your concerns, the one who nods and says “Yes!”
This is the person who lets you know it’s okay to be sad/mad/whatever. And especially okay to be overwhelmed.
So let’s be sure you have a community of kindness for your discouragement. Over time, here at GFP, we will take a look at some of the discouragement that seems so common to women, and acknowledge the struggle.
And look for the refreshing.
The good news:
Friends were arranged for us. By our creator. How amazing is that? The sister, the neighbor, the co-worker, the Lord sent us friends.
He wants to refresh us. So we don’t have to wonder if He knows we need it.
What does the Bible say about friendship:
so that by God’s will I may come to you with joy and be refreshed in your company. (Romans 15:32)
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
(That’s a free download, a printable page to help you memorize this passage. One of our objectives is to dwell on the Word of God. So download and print that! Just click the square image to get to the page, my gift to you for being here today.)
Something important…
This ongoing series of posts has been a work in progress for some time now.
Still, we can’t ignore an important comparison, that our struggles are the ordinary frustrations of life.
These occur in circumstances that might be a huge relief to someone who is truly suffering.
And I do not want to be disrespectful or callous to those situations.
The series will be about these “ordinary frustrations” and not about the deep suffering that others are facing all over the world.
If your being “overwhelmed” seems more than you can handle, I’ve got something for you, a very good blog post about a lady who has some experience with being overwhelmed. I respect that she tackles some very serious concerns, and if you feel your issues are “more”, go and visit Sarah, where she talks about When You Can’t Keep Up With Your Crazy Life. Maybe “more” is super stressful circumstances, depression, or ongoing struggles.
This post is one in a four-part series about struggling.
You can also read Why Don’t Things Ever Work Out For Me? and Why Do I Feel Like A Failure? if you like. The final topic is Being Brave When I’m Afraid.
For now,
Please give yourself some grace. Women tend to have lots of plates spinning.
- Take some time to consider your role in your different relationships, and how you can best serve those around you.
- One thing to consider: What are the things that only you can do? And what things could possibly wait, or be passed to someone else?
- Most importantly, can you take some small steps to extend some kindness even when it’s hard? It’s free to give that. And it’s for the people in your inner circle, and the random people you encounter.
- What if your kindness today was the refreshing that someone else needed, at the right time? What if your kind word was the one that helped them up?
TODAY: If you’ve got a tender friend who is struggling, please send some kindness — share this post, or send a text or a card. And keep those “what ifs” ready. 💖
Thank you! At GFP company is always welcome!
If you liked this topic 🤗, feel free to 👉 share 👈 on Facebook or Pinterest, or send a link to a friend.
Are you on Pinterest? That is a crazy fun place! You can find so many helpful things. Take a look at what I’ve saved for you! A lot of things that never make it to the blog. Here are my Pinterest pins, and I also have categories/boards if you’re looking for something specific.
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-Grammye
I’m Grammye, and I’m collecting and sharing ideas that can help you embrace the life you have.
When things are difficult, come here to refresh and relax. We’ll have coffee and talk.
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Thank you so much for sharing my post 🙂 I love your heart to extend more grace to your readers – and to yourself 🙂
-Sarah
Sarah, the more I explore, the more I find that heartache is something we all deal with. I was moved to see the honest caring you expressed in your writing. Thanks for visiting! -Grammye
For the last few weeks, I have frequently felt that my bench was in the river. So, thanks. Very encouraging words.
Thank you for being here, and for saying that. You know what? Every time my bench is in the river, I have a lady who helps me remember something. She reminds me of all the times the water went back down and my bench was on dry ground again. I appreciate it so much. She’s my mom. Isaiah 43:2 says “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” I think this means that you’ll get to hang up your socks to dry. But this does have me thinking… I think maybe I should not tell someone I feel overwhelmed. Maybe the worst I can state is “almost overwhelmed” since God clearly tells us we won’t be. Something new to ponder. So glad you came by.