A home is what a mama makes it.
That’s a fact. Maybe it’s one of those things we just know deep down, and we don’t have to say it.
Home. Your house. It’s part of your identity, right?
Maybe some people escape that kind of thinking, but it’s hard. Here’s how it feels:
I think like our houses get ranked. Maybe unconsciously, but they do. The lady with the beautiful house goes immediately to the top of the board. The one with the shabby siding and the starving lawn, she will be way down at the bottom. I’m somewhere in between, and I’ve just proved my point: Self comparison is useless.
You’re always going to be different — more than, or less than. You’ll never be exactly the same as someone else. And that goes for your house, too. So what is the purpose of comparing? Of ranking? To make us feel better than someone? Or to make us yearn for something someone else has? Like I said. Useless.
Let’s stop looking at the rankings, and focus inward. Here are some goals that make sense: You want home to be your family’s safe place. The place that feels like escape after a bad day. The place that feels like peace, after unrest has controlled the hours.
You want your family to be happy in the rooms — comfortable sofas, cookies in the kitchen, and a bedroom that feels like a haven. Clean but not sterile. Quiet but not silent. Not as rustic as The Flintstones, but not as fancy as Taylor Swift’s house. In between all those.
At our house (the unranked in-between one), watching television at night together got to be a cozy habit. The important detail: each person was covered by one of our pretty faux fur blankets. I love those blankets. This was a huge “thing” during our multigenerational years. Everyone had their favorite blanket.
When that era ended, a new and wonderful chapter was starting. And I wondered how their evenings would be. Would they miss our “blanket habit?” Not to worry. I bought a whole stack of new blankets in the color of their new living room. And a big pretty fabric storage box to keep them in. That was their gift for the new home. Y’all, it was August. In Georgia. Fur blankets definitely got the “odd gift” award. But you know what? They all loved the gift. Really. And it was pretty sweet to get a picture of everyone snuggling under their own blanket one evening.
Why is that even a story?
Because it made it clear: home isn’t about the house.
It’s about the habits.
A house is made of lumber, walls, and windows.
A home is made of a thousand ordinary moments.
Long after children forget the furniture, they’ll remember the feeling of home.
The thing I said at first, “Home is what a mama makes it,” is something I say to moms.
Not to put an expectation on you, but to remind you that you’re always creating “home” for your family. Even when you don’t think you are.
Think of home, right now. Your home, when you were a child. Let the images and memories step out of their soft rooms in your mind. There they are. Your place at the supper table. Getting the milk out of the fridge. Where you grabbed your backpack before school. Christmas morning. What it felt like to walk in the door when you got home. The smell of the shower soap. A shade tree in your backyard.
You see it, right? You didn’t think of things about your foundation, or plumbing, or the appliances. You didn’t recite the street number. You didn’t reminisce about the purchase price, or the square footage, or the roof pitch.
You thought about the habits, the feelings, the love. Your kids will do that, too.
They’ll remember snuggling up when they were sick (and when they weren’t).They’ll remember what happened when the power went off. Or helping you do something in the kitchen. They’ll remember your junk drawer, and your coffee breath. The ongoing jokes you shared, the books you read to them. All of that and more.
So here, right now, take a step back mentally, and give yourself a minute to let that settle.
Home is what a mama makes it.
The things that feel like ordinary tasks, projects, and routines are really something much bigger.
They are your good work—the quiet, ongoing care that shapes your family’s story. It’s work, for sure. But it’s good work.
Your Good Work…
Recipes
Let’s lower the stress, and increase the yum. Recipes for foods your family will love on repeat. And a real help: A printable shopping list you can customize. Hungry? Let’s eat, y’all!
Recipes
Storage and Organization
The not glamorous world of putting things away. Yes, it’s a never-ending story. But let’s make it a neat one. These ideas are sure to help you.
Buy, Store, Organize
How-To and DIY
Whether you’re making a noodle board, wrapping a gift, writing a thank-you note, or curing diaper rash, this is the instruction you needed. It all starts with “howda.”
Howda Do Things
Travel
Not world travel, just grabbing those swimsuits and driving to the beach. Book the condo, Pack the car Make the memories. Hilton Head Island guide included.
Travel
Holidays/Seasons
The whole world seems to be defined by the candy aisles at Walmart. You know I’m right. Let’s look at each holiday — the reasons, the seasons, the foods, and the gifts.
Holidays
Operation Stations
Have you set your home up well for the different tasks that take place?
It’s easier than you think. Start with the kitchen. You’ll be glad you did.
Stations
Whether you’re sitting in the car line, washing a soccer uniform, or trying to remember the last time you shampooed your hair, slow down a second, and let me say this to you:
You’re doing it. Making your home. Doing good work.
Keep going. Keep making one thing better.
You’re creating the “base” they run to so they’ll be safe. Even when you’re tired, keep dusting it off so they can find it.
“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home,
and let him make her sorry to see him leave..”
— Martin Luther
Before you move on,
I hope you’ll remember this:
I promise to stay in my lane. I’m not in charge of you, or your family, or your home. That’s your kingdom, and I’m just showing you how I arranged mine. What works for me may not work for you. The important thing is this: We’re sharing our lives, we’re encouraging each other, and we’re traveling to “better.”
If today’s visit encouraged you, there’s plenty more to explore.
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